Tuesday, November 30, 2010
I have always wanted to be one of those girls who is defined by something. I want to be the girl who only eats organic food, the girl who runs, the girl who backpacks, the girl who only feeds her kids healthy food, the girl who is well-liked, the girl who is funny. Any or all of the above would do for me. Unfortunately, I am probably not good enough at any of the above to actually say any one defines me. I am not the girl who always eats organic food, because my favorite dessert is M&M’s—that’s right give me M&M’s any day over anything; I will take it. I do run, but not well and not every day. I love to backpack and be outside, but too often I am afraid of wild animals. I am the girl who frequently spots the random cougar running through town—I am a bit paranoid. I try to do all of the above, but none I do well.
I saw a sign the one day that was by McGruff the crime dog. He said, “You spend a lifetime building your identity, but it only takes a second for someone to steal it.” For some reason this hit me. I have spent my entire life building my identity. I want all of these “things” to define who I am. I have spent years trying to figure out who I am. And maybe somewhere along the way I decided I needed to make who I am. So, I started finding my interests and becoming this “ideal” person in my book. Yet, I have never been very successful at any of it. I have tried so hard to be that girl, the one everyone admires. But that can be stolen too. McGruff was right! One word can just rip it down, and suddenly I am no longer that girl. I realized this one night when after a weekend of praising me and the decisions I had made to better myself, my husband came down with a criticism of something I did. You see, lately the girl I want to be is the educated, reader, tea-drinker, who does not watch TV and only eats healthy things, the girl who does yoga and runs, the self-disciplined girl. What’s the problem? I watched TV and suddenly I was no longer that girl. My husband apparently admired that girl. But I changed, or gave in to be not so self-disciplined and suddenly that was no longer my identity. I had my identity stolen by just this simple question of whether I was really going to watch TV tonight—and was it going to be that much TV. I had determined I was. I was sick and tired and wanted to watch 3 hours of TV. But when my husband brought this up, I realized I was no longer this girl, the girl who he had grown to like, even if it had been a girl around for only about 2 weeks. My identity was stolen, my pride was hurt and once again, I was left wondering who I am.
Thankfully several years ago, God really showed me who I am. I am His. That is what defines me, that identity, cannot be stolen. No matter if I am organic-eating or M&M-eating, running or sitting and reading, making wise decisions of my time or not so wise, I am still His. My identity is that of a child of God. I am chosen, dearly loved and precious. I am His precious daughter. Thankfully this does not change. I cannot make some mistake that will take this away from me or make me less His. I just need to keep reminding myself!
Monday, November 29, 2010
This year we also started a new tradition. We started the morning trottin' with the turkeys! That is what they call the run here in town, the "Turkey Trot" It was so much fun! My eight year old did amazing! My five year old did a pretty good job. Here are some pictures....
There was a good turn out, over 1500 racers! (we were at the very back)our cheering team! (grandpa and 2 year old)
he had the best seat in the house!
Running to the finish line!
Karis and I finishing closer to the end, we were ending our 2 miles at the same time the 10k winners were coming in!
Determination, eye on the prize (the finish line had cookies and donuts-all the motivation this girl needs!)
A final push to the finish line!
We had a great time and a really, really good Thanksgiving!
Monday, November 22, 2010
I love this skit, it is exactly how I feel most days. I saw Karen Ehman two years ago at the Hearts at Home Conference. Funny thing is, I never imagined life would be quite like this. In fact, I kind of thought it would be much different. If someone had asked me 20 years ago what my life would look like when I was in my 30s, I would have said, ...I thought I would live in a big city. I would drink coffee on the train commuting to work while glancing at the financial section of the New York Times. I was never going to be married. I thought I would adopt a child from another country.I thought I might change the world in some extraordinary way.
Instead, I live a crazy, unpredictable life. Doing far more than I ever imagined I could. And the far more is a whole lot of ordinary things. And some days, I get really tired and discouraged that it is not some extraordinary world changing thing -- like cure cancer, find a way to feed all the starving children in Africa, or bring world peace (you know all the reasonable goals that every young person strives for). BUT, then most days, I realize that the extraordinary thing I get to do is take care of these little people and make them ready to take on this world.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
1. When I am about to scream because my house needs cleaning, my kids need feeding and things are not going my way BUT it is 7am (my usual time to run -- although somehow this has changed to 5:00am -- see #5) I get to go without having to justify, and somehow life is a lot clearer afterwards. (or maybe I just can't yell because I am out of breath)--either way it works!
2. Some nights I really need a piece of chocolate, glass or two of wine, chocolate chip cookie, etc. On days I run, I really do not feel guilty about one of these things, and even on days I don't run, I just run a little more/faster the next time.
3. I can say that I have actually accomplished something -- "I ran 6 miles, in 54 minutes. " One of the only things I actually COMPLETE in my life, other things like dishes always need doing, there is always laundry to do and toys to clean up -- they are never COMPLETE!
4. It is one of the only things I can do that I am completely alone doing, and it is OK.
5. I do not have to be completely alone, I have made some of my best friends running, and am always making new friends running. There is camaraderie in running, I may not ever have taken the time to get to know someone because our lives are different, busy, full, etc. BUT then we run together. And there is just something about running 8 miles in a snowstorm just for training sake that makes you feel like this person is your favorite person and you will be friends forever!
6. I get to run with my girls. This Fall my 8 year old and 5 year old have been training with me for the turkey trot Thanksgiving morning. So we will be starting our day running together, for that I am thankful!
I cannot imagine not being a runner, I hope that I will be one of those people at 89 still running and maybe even one of those old people you hear people talk about that passed them at mile 5.
This post is being linked to Things I Love Thursday at Diaper Diaries
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
1. Pajamas -- since I was a little girl we got pajamas on Christmas Eve -- to look cute in our pictures Christmas morning (although I dont think I ever looked really cute in any of those pics)
2. Put up Christmas Tree the weekend after Thanksgiving -- I actually have these really fond memories or going to cut down our own tree the first week of November as a kid, some friends of ours had a Christmas Tree farm and before they sent them out to the stores we got to come cut one, we then followed it with chili at a neighbors with friends from church also cutting down THEIR trees and singing Christmas carols. I thought we would have a real tree by now, for sure last year, but so far our little tree has hung in there. We missed putting it up last year until the week before because we kept thinking we would get a real tree, we never did, we put up the old standby and my two year old broke into tears when he saw the lights, I dont think he had seen anything so beautiful in his life!
3. Advent - so often I skip this part, I get so caught up in all the doing, I forget the need to prepare myself for this holiday so... we will be reading a part of the Christmas story each day and lighting our Advent candles
4. And for a craft/Advent Calendar -- Iwould like to make a Jesse Tree
5. Read this story as a family --I love reading with my family ay night, with hot chocolate or tea and everyone cuddled up together (well except for the two year old doing sprints down the hallway)
6. This one is going to be very hard for me -- but I want to make it a tradition that each child gets just one present from us, besides the pajamas listed in #1... My love language is gift giving, and I love to buy presents for my family, but I really feel like this is when I lose perspective!
7. Listen to this CD, (I did not know if they actually sold it anymore, but I found it on Amazon) it is a favorite of my husband's and mine, and it is really hard to get him to like my music
9. Drive around and look at Christmas lights
9. Make these amazing Chocolate Oreo Truffles, (I only let myself make them during the holidays )
10.Celebrate with family, we always spend Christmas Eve with my in-laws and this year we are heading to my sister's on Christmas Day
Well seven of the ten are tried and true traditions, three are new, we will see how they go, and hopefully soon it really will begin to look a lot like Christmas around here!
Monday, November 15, 2010
My third, he hates it, this morning he screamed at me, "I DON'T LIKE YOU!! YOU ARE MEAN MOMMY!" Just for making him sit on the potty? And I am not above bribery, I bribe with candy, stickers, cute underwear, you name it we have it. He just does not want to do it. He actually believes he will get a real truck when he is potty trained. He pointed it out to me the other day at the bank drive thru -- and I thought maybe this was a sign that he is NOT potty training until he is 16. Our day then proceeded with more screaming (I would not put pants or anything on him til he went on the potty) Some kids like to be naked -- not him -- after about 15 minutes he sat on the potty, tried really hard, did not go, and got to put on underwear -- CARS underwear (cool underwear)! He made it about 2 hours, which to my fault, I should have made him try again, but I really did not want to hear my sweet boy call me mean again and say he didnt like me! AND I was in the middle of some cooking projects. So, when he disappeared, I started searching -- David, where are you? Why are you hiding? To which he responded "I am a Ninja!" (sitting in a pool of pee?) Which he proceeded to blame on me -- he adamantly insisted that HE DID NOT WET HIS PANTS -- I did it! Well, once again, "I DONT LIKE YOU MOMMY! YOU ARE MEAN!" came out of my sweet boys little mouth. He was not allowed to put on new underwear/ pull-up/pants until he went on the potty. And 15 minutes later he was on the potty POOPING!!!! Then very grown up like he put on his alien underwear and pants. He then sat at the table to eat lunch and when his sisters did not understand what underwear he was wearing he stood up, pulled his pants to his ankles, breathed out a sigh of annoyance, "See?" And it is only noon and we are no where near done potty training.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
this post is linked to Top Ten Tuesdys at Oh Amanda
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
1. Mark of the Lion Series by Francine Rivers -- I think this series is THE MOST life changing series I have EVER read in my life! You should read these books!
2. The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory -- Only because it made me realize that history can be interesting.
3. Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy -- I just really loved this book
4. The Winter Garden by Kristin Hannah -- I think one of the only books that has ever made me cry!
5. My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult -- One of the first fiction books I read that made me realize the power of fiction to make me think and give a viewpoint without being in your face
6. The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak -- Wonderful, interesting, creative! I loved this book! I want to read it again, now that I am writing it on this list
7. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini -- I think anyone who reads this book would put it on their top 10
8. The Gurnsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Schaffer -- again a book that I just really, really enjoyed reading
9. Still Alice by Lisa Genova -- a book that gave me perspective on something I did not know I wanted perspective on -- alzheimers
10. Twilight by Stephenie Meyer -- this is kind of silly to me, but these books made reading fun, not life changing, not really intellectually stimulating, but fun!
There it is, my top 10 books! That was harder than I thought!
This post is submitted to Top Ten Tuesday's at Oh Amanda
Monday, November 8, 2010
Apparently, there was a dress in the family, my sister-in-law over-nighted it to us, and it wasbeautiful! Despite my plans and attempt at doing everything, nothing went as planned, and I wasnot able to do much of anything! I find it a bit amusing (and humbling) when things happen thatway, and I feel like a total failure. But I am somehow ok with it anyway because life has to goon, and that is just what happened. Life went on.
It was a beautiful fall day. My baby is my fourth to be baptized, but, to be honest, with the firstthree, it was more of a faith/following-my-husband thing. This one was an exciting type thing. And she did great.
Our priest read during the baptism: Baby four is baptized in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and then he said, Baby four is sealed by the Holy Spirit in Baptism and marked as Christ's own forever. Amen. I wanted to scream, SHE IS MARKED AS HISOWN! FOREVER! It is sealed; it is done; take that, enemy! You are not allowed near this child!
It gave me goose bumps and joy, knowing that my child, this precious little girl, all my childrenare marked as His; they are claimed! What a joyful day!
Friday, November 5, 2010
If you give a mom a coffee, she will probably ask for cream. And as she pours the cream, it might remind her of a funny story about a two year old, cream and a coffee of his own.
She will probably sit to share the story. And stories might be shared back and forth for quite some time.
She might realize she is really hungry because she forgot to eat dinner, and ask for a piece of cake. If she asks for a piece of cake, she will probably want a fork. If she asks for a fork, she might think about all the dishes waiting for her at home. If she thinks about home, she might think about her children running around instead of sleeping in bed. If she thinks about bed she might realize that she is absolutely exhausted. And as exhaustion threatens her need to be productive, she might ask for a refill on her coffee. And if she asks for a refill on coffee, you know what probably comes next! But, please always give a mom her coffee!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
This post is for the 30 minute blog challenge on Steady mom's blog
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
When my first child was born she did not come out carrying a cape and tights for me to put on. She came out screaming and needy. I wish she had come out with the outfit, it may have seemed strange, but it would have clued this first time mom into the fact that the expectations of a mother are far from wimpy. They are the expectations of a superhero. Sometimes, I can hear in my head the announcer from one of those movies, “It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it is a mom running full speed across the kitchen to catch the egg her daughter has gotten from the refrigerator to “help” make cookies.” Amazingly, with the grace of God, we as mothers are given superhero powers to care for these little people He has placed in our hands. Motherhood is amazing, beautiful, fun, and difficult. It is all the adjectives used to describe something great and worth a lot of effort. It is all I imagined it to be and more. What I could not imagine was the strength necessary to be a good mother.
A mother is given by God the superpower of making milk. A mother can provide her child with all she needs, all the food, vitamins and nourishment for her new little one. She is given the gift of supersonic hearing. A Mom can hear her child’s cry before he actually cries. Maybe it is the way he rolls in bed, the roll that clues her into the fact that her sweet child is not completely asleep or starting to stir. Sometimes it is the strength to get up to put the pacifier back in his mouth for the eighteenth time. And so often it takes just a touch, a hand on the cheek, a pat on the back and he drifts back into dream land. And have you seen a mother’s smile? It is magic. The smile in a mother’s eyes and on her lips that instantly sends her baby into fits of belly laughing. I have heard it in the grocery store, the mall or a church pew. It is the laugh that sends me into fits of laughter upon just hearing it. It is a strong woman, wise enough to know that laughter almost always wins out over tears.
The memory goes a little more with each child, a “holey memory.” A mother filters out the bad and holds onto the good. She has the strength to open her hands and let go of the things she does not want to hold on to, and to grasp ever so tightly those memories she will always desire. The gift of elocution is a mom having the ability to talk about poop and spit-up with utter fascination for hours. A mother is able to work while sleeping. Mothers can change diapers, make dinner, and direct children on just hours of sleep. A never- ending supply of sweet kisses abide in a mother’s grasp. She can heal a booboo with those kisses in an instant. She has the voice of an angel. This one I am particularly fond of since I do not have one, but my children love it when I whisper songs in their ears. When all these superhuman powers do not work, she relies on the regular human ones. Arms that carry thousands of loads of laundry, scrub floors, wash dishes and carry pounds of groceries, the same arms gently lift this child and walk, on legs that chase children and climb stairs for one last kiss. The mother carries her precious colicky child for hours with patience far greater than any she ever imagined. The mother carries her child and loves with the strength of a mother.
And what would this superhero wear? Besides cute shoes? There probably would not be an outfit my daughter could have come out with to prepare me for it all. Maybe it could have a charming red purse to put my kisses in. Whatever the outfit, it would probably not be pretty at all times, but definitely made with grace.