Monday, February 21, 2011

Wise Beyond His Years

My life seems to continue to be fuller than I thought. I am often hurrying through life. Then, suddenly some little bit of wisdom shows up from these little people I am living life with. This time it came from my 3 year old.

We made a visit to my hometown, it has been over a year since I have been there, even though it is just 2 hours away. Sometimes, it is just easier to stay put. I have tried a couple of times to make it up there, but something has come up.. sickness, snowstorm, more sickness. But, this time as a snowstorm threatened this trip one more time, I left early to make it up there.

We made a quick stop at my grandma's house. Just to say a brief, "Hi." That is when it happened. My little boy, rambunctious and 'all boy' JUMPED on his 80 something year old great-grandma's lap. He sat there looking intently at her hands. She seemed a bit shy about it, saying, "I know they are old hands." And they are, aged with years of living a really good life. He seemed so fascinated though, tracing the lines and rubbing them. And then he said it, he looked at me with a look of joy, "MOM! Come see them, they are BEAUTIFUL!" How, at the age of 3 does he know what it takes so many of us so long to learn, with age comes beauty. And that is what my grandma is, beautiful.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Top Ten Things I Said I Would Never Do...

I have this list in my head, this idea of who I want to be and what I want to do with my life. Amazingly there are some things I said I would never do with my life. My husband would probably find it hard to believe since I want to do just about EVERYTHING! But... this is the list of things I would NEVER do
1. Homeschool...
I am now on year four of homeschooling

2. Have 4 children...
Two sounded about right-- well until I had one, then I wanted 12, so 4 seems like a good compromise

3. Bake my own bread...
I have not bought a loaf of bread in several months, and I have an excellent whole wheat bread recipe if interested

4. Sew Clothes...
Have you seen project runway?!?! How can I not! (this one I am not that good at though- I hate following directions)

5. Can fruits and Vegetables...
This one has stuck, and I think it will, BUT I did make my first batch of strawberry jam last summer and CANNOT wait to do it again this summer!

6. Be a Homebody-- "I am a Stay-at-home mom that doesn't really stay home"...
I honestly no longer feel trapped if I don't have a car (unless I accidentally clip my daughters finger tip in effort to clip her finger nail)-- I LOVE to be home

7. Drive a White Car....
This one I cannot help, I do not think I was clear in my, "go ahead I trust you with the car situation" when sending him off to get a car, because in my head, people just do not buy white cars, well, unless you are my husband.. we have 2

8. Write a Blog...
ummm... it just happened, actually, there is a long story behind blogging, and I still fight myself over this one about every two weeks, but I am still doing it!

9. Read Blogs...
ummm...again, it just happened, BUT there are so many interesting people out there that can write, craft, story tell better than I... with different life experiences and SO many book recommendations. I had to give this one up!

10. Grow My hair to my waist and start wearing jumpers...
not that there is anything wrong with this, but I really have to draw a line somewhere, so if you see me start doing this, cut off my hair, and take me shopping, PLEASE!

As you can see I have stuck to hardly any of my "things I will never do list," unfortunately my "things I want to do list," is about the opposite... oh well, I need something to aim for.

This post is linked to Top Ten Tuesdays at Oh Amanda

Monday, February 14, 2011

Miss Karis Rose....

My little girl turns 6 today....An amazing Valentine's Day present.

She came into this world full of life... with a heartbeat of 199 bpm and doing somersaults on her birthday-- the nurses commented, "Some babies are just really excited to be born." She was excited in theory, not in timing.. my longest time in the hospital. Full of energy and doing things her own way is how she has lived her life from that day until this.

She came into the world looking nothing like my first little girl. I was actually afraid somehow they had switched my baby without me seeing. My oldest daughter being so fair with big blue eyes. And now this tan little baby with dark hair and dark eyes. She is mine. She stands out in our family to this day, in a family of four, she is the only one of my children that looks this way. And she can hold her own. She is beautiful, smart, funny, entertaining, dramatic, sweet, opinionated, wild and kind. I am so thankful God gave her to our family.

Happy Birthday my little Miss Karis Rose.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Things I Love Thursday--- Sorrow

Now before you think I am one of those people that loves to throw myself a pity party full of chocolate and red wine-- which does sound good sometimes. I am thinking more along the lines of a sermon I heard a couple of weeks ago. At church one of the men was giving a sermon on-- actually I have no idea... sitting in church with a seven month old rarely allows me to hear a whole sermon. But one part did stick out. He talked about how we are so quick to hurry up to the blessing. To get to the good part. The, Romans 8:28 part, the "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." part. And we forget to wait in the sorrow part and let God minister to us there. There is something incredibly vulnerable about being completely out of control of a situation. Of sitting and crying out to God. I told my husband that I am a much better "Christian" when things are good. I LOVE to thank God for his goodness in my life. And I am really good at recognizing where all of it comes from. I am aware of my unworthiness and good at recognizing that all I have is from God. I can remember walking with my husband when we were newlyweds. We would walk for hours just thanking God for his goodness to us! But when things go wrong. I tend to "micro-manage." I do not wait on God. I do not take time to sit in His presence and be loved and held. So this week I am committed to sitting in sorrow-- not sorrow without hope. But sorrow. sitting and lamenting-- Sitting in the midst of our situation that is so much bigger than me-- and letting God take care of it.

This post was submitted to Things I Love Thursday at The Diaper Diaries

Friday, February 4, 2011

The Story of My Life

So, last night at midnight we were awoken to my little boy struggling to breathe and coughing like a seal. He often gets croup, but rarely does he sound like he can't breathe when he is not coughing. And he is crying hysterically. So I did what any normal mom would do, I wrapped him in a coat and headed outside since he is terrified of showers and I have heard crying can make it worse. He did not cry that I was bringing him outside, he just thought I was weird. He looked at me and said, "mom, can we go inside now?" So, we went inside, and tried the shower BUT he did panic hysterically. So, he decided to lay on the couch with his daddy for a while and calm down. We were trying to wait til morning to see if he got any better. We made it until 6a.m. with hourly checks to ensure he was still breathing. Then he came in my room still sounding like an old smoker. I decided we would make it to the walk in clinic at 7 to try to miss any busyness. I loaded up the car with my precious little boy, his blankie, monster guy and we started the 25 minute drive to the doctor. The whole time I am second guessing myself because he is starting to babble and talk with me and sounding a WHOLE lot better. We arrive at the doctor and the lady at the front desk starts asking me these really hard questions like, "When is your sons birthday?" and "What is your phone number?" On a normal day this would not be a problem for me, but being sleep deprived I honestly had no answers for her. It took me three tries to get his birthday right and I never did figure out my phone number. I had to ask her to look up my phone number on her computer. I had tried giving her my sister's number and my husbands, but my number was gone from my head. Once I got all that out and was completely embarrassed we sat for an hour and a half waiting for the doctor. At this point my son is RUNNING around the waiting room, and I am thinking why on earth did I bring him to the doctor in the first place. We finally get called in and are told, "Yep, sounds like croup. But he sounds fine now." "If it happens again, put him in the bathroom with steam" (I mention that my son is terrified of showers-- and the doctor just looks at me like I am crazy) and we are sent home. And my entire day is now thrown off.
So, tonight the plan is if he starts coughing to send him and his dad out for a McDonalds or Taco Bell run and some guy time at 1 in the morning, in hopes that the cold night air will clear him up and they can spend some time bonding.
And so it is, the story of my life... one thing after another, never going quite as planned, to make up the days of my life... But I wouldn't change it for the world!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Snowed In!

We got a lot of snow! I have shoveled for a total of 3 hours, and it is not done (the shoveling) but we are completely out of places to put our snow!!! Here are a few pictures!

our car

our driveway

our backyard

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Snowball Fight

I haven't written on my blog in a while, and it is because I have been in the middle of a snowball fight. Well, that is what it seems like. It has been a couple of weeks full of out of the blue stinging snowballs flying at my face and I cannot seem to dodge them no matter what.

There are all these little things that keep happening, some not so little that come out of nowhere and hit me in the face, knocking me down. Sometimes it seems impossible to get up, sometimes I don't want to get up because I know another one is coming. I cannot seem to dodge them.

One more minor incident involved clipping my daughter's fingernails, which ended up with me clipping her actual finger, which led to three paper towels covered in blood flowing from her little finger for 20 minutes, a baby screaming and a mom crying. I had no car, four children, and, thankfully, some other moms to help me when I could not really think straight, and one mom to take us all to the doctor.

Just when I had dried my face, I found my five year old explaining to me that she was at a church group we attend during the week, and a little girl who was her friend told her they were no longer friends. My precious Karis, who you have to love if you know her, was not angry, just confused. In a sweet little voice she explained it to me, "Mom, I thought I had three friends, but she said we are not friends, so I guess I just have two." She said it with a twinge of disappointment, but mostly just confusion and matter of factness. She so wants friends, and really struggles making them. I think it might be that she is second and a girl and has always relied on her sister for friends. She kind of marches to the beat of her own drum, but I wanted to hold her and shield her from a snowball that stings when you learn that the world is not fair. Telling her she is precious and loving her was what I could do at that time.

Then, picking my family up again we were bombarded with snowballs. The kind that make you cry they sting so bad. I cant really go into the detail of two that have hit us hardest, well me the hardest, because I want to respect privacy, but they have left me wanting to cry and scream and throw snowballs back, but I have nowhere to throw them. And then I start to feel like it is my fault, maybe I deserved it, maybe I messed up somehow. I know in my heart it is not my fault, but when everything starts to crumble, when all you planned starts falling apart and on top of it you are being attacked, it makes it really hard to see reality. I am working on praying and seeing how God is going to work this out. And I am going to tuck my my family in tight and try keep them safe from this battle in which we seem stuck in the middle.