Sunday, October 21, 2012
31 Days of "Things I Have Learned from my Children..." Selflessly Celebrating!
"It is NOT fair!"
"They always get to do the fun thing." "So, can we watch a movie and eat chocolate and drink lemonade?!"
"They got to go to a water park and sleepover, and I only got my hair cut and ear's pierced!"
"SHE got her hair cut and ear's pierced and I only got to go to a water park!"
"IT IS NOT FAIR!"
I want to just say, "Life is not fair." And usually that is what I say, because if we face it, life is not fair. And I finish with, "If we want to start comparing life stories, you need to watch out, because mommy will tell you what is not fair."
But this is a deeper issue. It is more than just not fair. It is unkind, not that they get to do it, but that their family will not celebrate with them.
I have been there many times in my life, when some person suddenly is successful at something I have tried for so long to be good at; OR usually something I have not really tried that hard to be good at, but just wanted to be good at. I fester and grow angry with that person, and life and all its unfairness. Because it is not FAIR. But life is not fair. And it is a deeper issue. I am being unkind. Because I am to love God and love my neighbor as myself. Those are the commandments I am told to obey. The first and second greatest ones. And here I am in my sin, angry at this person. I should be celebrating with them; I should be praying for them.
It is like a magnifying glass when I see it in my children. This is me, pointing out a speck in my children's eyes when there is a log in my own eye.
I want my children to be excited when one wins a race, or gets to go on a special trip. Because is it not more fun to actually celebrate with someone? When something good happens, how much greater is it to celebrate with someone who we know will rejoice with us? How much greater is someone who says, "That sounds like so much fun! I cannot wait to hear about it!" Or, "I am so proud of you, you deserve it after all your work!" It is so much better than someone who says, "That is not fair! Why do you always get the good things!" And starts complaining and comparing, rather than rejoicing.
I am thankful for friends in my kids lives that do this with them, that set an example for them and for me of what a genuine friend looks like - one that is loving their neighbor as themselves; a friend who offer to secretly let my daughter use her American Girl doll and pretend it is her and promises not to tell anyone that it is not; friends who genuinely pray for them and ask how they are doing; friends who want the best for us. Those friends are so rare and so unlike what the world wants us to be. It looks so odd but so beautiful in a world that is all about itself.
I am learning with my children to celebrate each other and with each other. I am learning to look different than what the world wants and to love our neighbors as ourselves. I am learning to selflessly celebrating!