Arms crossed, furrowed brow, and head that shakes in defiance - a snapshot of determination. She is pushing, testing to see what her boundaries are, but also fighting for a cause she absolutely believes in. And I am amazed at the conviction of this little two year old. I often wonder in the midst of one of our now daily struggles what my life would be like if I had just an ounce of her will.
A couple of days ago it was unfortunately about a "boogie" (her brother's boogie, to be exact) that her mother made her throw into the garbage. She was attempting to place it in my COFFEE! The fit that followed with garbage cans thrown and screams that shook the walls was staggering. She fought and battled with me for her need to have what she wanted, what she thought was hers. With complete reckless abandon, she fought for her cause.
Today the fit lasted one hour and twenty minutes - an hour and twenty minutes to say sorry to her brother for pulling his hair. I do not think it actually hurt him, all of our reaction was the same when he reported on it: "What hair?" But she said she had done it and was NOT apologizing. Over an hour later, she finally caved and hugged her brother with an apology. But this will, this determination, if directed in the right place just might do something or change something.
Through it all, my mind kept racing. "What if I had this determination? determination to yell louder? to SCREAM for things I TRULY believe in? for things that are right and good? What if I fought so hard for the things that needed fighting for? if I set my feet on the ground and said, NO! I am not standing for this! I am not caving on this one!" I think it is possible that if, at times, the right times, I followed the full-of-heart determination of my little, strong-willed baby girl, just maybe I might make a tiny difference in the world.
One of the things that makes my heart want to CRY OUT for justice and God's mercy is children without a place, whether that is because they have no home or parents to care for them OR their place as children has been stolen, replaced by a world full of people wanting to harm them. I often feel my hands are tied with life and responsibility. What I do is so little, but I just registered for the One Heart for Justice 5k this weekend that raises money for and knowledge about two groups, Titus Task and Ezekiel Rain, which are working on restoring the lives of orphans in NW Arkansas, Haiti, and Thailand. I am excited to learn more about these groups whose hearts beat with a similar beat as mine. And maybe join with other voices to scream for what is RIGHT and GOOD.