"Feeling so blessed, our house sold and they accepted our offer on the new house." It is not the exact Facebook update I read, but it goes something like that. And I want to celebrate with a friend, I am thankful for God's provision. But I struggle with the understanding of why.
We prayed for months, asked for God to be in the details. He remained quiet. And I ask questions.
Why has our house still not sold after months on the market? We have only had about four people look at it!
Why do you work so hard and barely are able to pay the bills?
Why is life sometimes such a struggle and sometimes people seem to be so blessed?
I start to question myself, my motives, my heart. Is there sin in need of confessing? Is that other person better than me? I know this is where grace comes in and mercy and sovereignty. But I want to scream and yell WHY?
I know in this world I am considered blessed, but sometimes, I feel sorry for myself and get angry that it does not seem fair. Why does it work out perfectly for some and others never seem to get a break.
I do not know, I do not have answers, but there are somethings I do know..
The Lord is good, his faithfulness endures,
Psalm 100:5 "For the Lord is good and his faithfulness endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations."
Waiting on the Lord is okay,
Isaiah 40:31 "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar with wings like eagles; They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
He is glorified even in my weakness,
2 Corinthians 12:9, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
God's timing is perfect
Ecclesiastes 8:6, "For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter, though a person may be weighed down by misery."
God's word is full of promises
Hebrews 13:5, "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.'"
Psalm 27:14, "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
I know that His ways are higher.
Isaiah 55:9, "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than you ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
So I am working on selflessly celebrating because God is good and when He blesses my friends I want to rejoice because God IS SO good. And I will hold to the promises knowing that God is working.
And I will continue to count my blessings...
80. running on a cool fall afternoon
81. friends that come over for an impromptu dinner
82. soup and cornbread that warms inside when the air is cool outside
83. a warm home
84. that our house is full of art and literature
85. writing ideas finally onto paper
86. a dishwasher
87. an extra hour of sleep
88. children that can read clocks so I might actually get that extra hour of sleep
89. watching my children play together like they are actually friends.