Monday, December 9, 2013

Our Trip... Part 2

First, I just wanted to say "Thank You" for all the encouragement I heard about my "Part 1" of Our Trip. It was such a blessing.

This one was harder to write....

The meeting and the newness and the unknown were a lot. But those I could deal with better, because those were the things that were familiar. It was not easy, but I have loved and I know what love is, I know what comes.

But then you add the politics of it all. The politics of two countries and an institution, they do not go well with the heart. They are all about rules and bending of rules and looking out for themselves, not necessarily the life of a child. And it is hard to live in a world where I cannot wrap my head around how we can put our own good and advancement over the lives of children.

And that is what it felt like what was happening so much of the time.

So the days we spent on a strict schedule, only allowed to see him at certain hours because of his strict schedule. But that "schedule" that could not be altered involved a snack, that never came. We were told he was small because of his disability. We were told they feed him extra. But the words did not match the actions. And we wanted the words, "We just don't have enough to feed them all," to come. Just something to admit they are trying, but it is too hard to have enough for them all. THAT we could deal with, but they were not telling the truth. And explaining this is hard because why would they lie? I do not know. I do not know why some people are treated better than others, but I know that prejudice runs thick.

We struggled to focused on what we were there for, not all the politics.

When we went to the orphanage, we kept our mouths shut and nodded enthusiastically as we heard about this country (which I LOVE) and looked the other way when things happened that we were not supposed to see. These things were not bad or awful, just part of a world that seems so secretive, at the sake of protecting the children. But the secrets make it seem so much more than that.

And we focused on what we were there for, to love this little boy. 

And we dealt with phone calls and people trying desperately to prove that they are better than others and we should trust them. And we listened to more lies. And we desperately tried to make decisions based on truth. And it was exhausting.

People say that adoption is not for the faint of heart, and they are right. There is so much mess that goes into this.

And the trip, it all combined, the fears and unknowns, the politics and the egos, were all just A LOT to take in.

But in the end, we know his life is worth fighting for. HE is worth fighting for. And he belongs in our family. So we came back weary and jet lagged, ready for some normal. And now, I am ready to GO again. To get done what needs doing.

And our amazing case worker here, who will fight for these children, so much better than I can is helping us fight for him. She is already giving her kidney to one of the kids who came home. A different adoptive family. Who does that? Someone who geuninely cares about these children! And she has made it known to his country that our little boy needs to have his needs met! And we are going to ask for tests to be done, to get him to a doctor to start having him cared for there as soon as possible if it is possible.

All our paperwork is in, we are waiting for a final I800 approval and then it goes back to Eastern Europe after it has been apostilled and then there is a pre-interview with the Embassy, then an Artice 5 is issued, the MOJ signs it and we get a court date. Then there is court and we pray we pass without ny hiccups. Then he is ours! Then we get to go back to bring him home.

So for now, we wait and we pray.