Friday, January 23, 2015

Happy Birthday Bozhidar!

Today you turn 8! And we get to celebrate.

For the past week your sisters and brother have told you your birthday is coming. That you will get cake and macaroni and cheese and presents. They have said it so often now, that you get so excited! You clench your hands and shake squealing with delight that your birthday is COMING! And it is finally here. I have no idea if you know what it means. But you DO know that it is a day to celebrate.

There is some sadness in my heart thinking about your birth mom and all the birthdays she has missed. Does she think of you on this day? Does she wonder about you?

I wish I could tell her you are doing amazing!

I would tell her about today. Today you got the iPad. We found you in your bedroom making a movie by. your. self. It was a movie of you showing us your stuffed animals. You then shut the door got your toy computer, looked at the camera and said, "uh-uh." Which we all know means, do not touch this, it is mine! Then David comes bursting through the door and you start laughing hysterically.

And then I would tell her what happened at lunch today. Today, you went in the kitchen, picked out what you wanted, put it on the counter, got a bowl and a pan for me to cook it in and a spoon. When I came into the kitchen you pointed at it, the pan, the bowl and your mouth.

Last year I wrote this post. It was a "Happy Birthday." I missed you.

And this is the picture that we saw two years ago. The one where we said, "He is a Jacobs."

This was our first visit.... you were SO tiny!

I had NO IDEA then what this year would bring. I am kind of thankful. I could not have handled knowing that just in the middle of bringing you home my husband, your dad, would be diagnosed with cancer, we would lose our job and move to a whole different part of the country, and we would continue to wait to see if there is a job for next year. I did not know then, that my entire world would flip upside down and I would have to figure out how to be a good mom to you in the middle of it all.

But you have handled life with us, the unknown and change, every step, you have handled in stride. We have figured it out together, all of us. And you continue to learn and grow. You have amazed me. You make us laugh AND want to pull out our hair every day. You wrestle with your siblings and give them hugs and affection. Just like a brother should.

David says, "The BEST brother ever..."

Nine months ago, all I wanted was for you to learn to play. Now, you play so well. You cook and you pretend. If the kids are playing without you, you have to go find what they are doing. You never want to be left out.

You communicate without words, almost too well. My favorite is when you pretend to look at your watch to say you think it is time to go. I have NO idea where you got it from. None of us wear watches. But you do it. We understand. And it makes me smile every time. You understand everything we say. You are thankful and helpful.

Your laugh is irresistible.

Your favorite thing to do is to pray. And eat!

I am a better person because you are in my world. I am so happy we get to celebrate this birthday with you! You, my sweet boy, are a blessing!

And a  new haircut! Happy 8th Birthday Bozhi! We love you!