Crazy, Even for Me

So, my week started with this random thing. I had noticed in several places a women's name, she is part of a homeschool group I am in, her daughter was a student in one of my husband's classes, her name sometimes showed up in the emails from a running club I always intended to join but never did ( but still got emails from, just in case)...finally I got an email from a classical homeschool thing I was interested in, and her name was on the sending e-mail. So, I randomly sent her an email saying, we have all these connections. We became facebook friends and realized we have another random connection- she used to mentor teen moms with the same program I just started mentoring with. She is good friends with the leader of this branch, when I told the leader I had just met this woman, she said, "didn't I tell you when I first met you that you reminded me of someone? Well that is who you reminded me of." So we met this morning, this the crazy part--we met at 5 a.m. to run 6 miles in the pitch dark. I haven't run more than 4.5 since my baby was born 4 months ago. And I finished it, running the whole way (no walk breaks) I think it is really neat when something like this happens and you realize how small the world is, and I can't help but think there is a reason for it all, that in God's purpose, this woman and I were meant to meet, even if it is just to help me realize that I am not that crazy because there is someone out there a whole lot like me!

Supermom

A post from an earlier blog, I tried and tried again to write

When my first child was born she did not come out carrying a cape and tights for me to put on. She came out screaming and needy. I wish she had come out with the outfit, it may have seemed strange, but it would have clued this first time mom into the fact that the expectations of a mother are far from wimpy. They are the expectations of a superhero. Sometimes, I can hear in my head the announcer from one of those movies, “It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it is a mom running full speed across the kitchen to catch the egg her daughter has gotten from the refrigerator to “help” make cookies.” Amazingly, with the grace of God, we as mothers are given superhero powers to care for these little people He has placed in our hands. Motherhood is amazing, beautiful, fun, and difficult. It is all the adjectives used to describe something great and worth a lot of effort. It is all I imagined it to be and more. What I could not imagine was the strength necessary to be a good mother.

A mother is given by God the superpower of making milk. A mother can provide her child with all she needs, all the food, vitamins and nourishment for her new little one. She is given the gift of supersonic hearing. A Mom can hear her child’s cry before he actually cries. Maybe it is the way he rolls in bed, the roll that clues her into the fact that her sweet child is not completely asleep or starting to stir. Sometimes it is the strength to get up to put the pacifier back in his mouth for the eighteenth time. And so often it takes just a touch, a hand on the cheek, a pat on the back and he drifts back into dream land. And have you seen a mother’s smile? It is magic. The smile in a mother’s eyes and on her lips that instantly sends her baby into fits of belly laughing. I have heard it in the grocery store, the mall or a church pew. It is the laugh that sends me into fits of laughter upon just hearing it. It is a strong woman, wise enough to know that laughter almost always wins out over tears.

The memory goes a little more with each child, a “holey memory.” A mother filters out the bad and holds onto the good. She has the strength to open her hands and let go of the things she does not want to hold on to, and to grasp ever so tightly those memories she will always desire. The gift of elocution is a mom having the ability to talk about poop and spit-up with utter fascination for hours. A mother is able to work while sleeping. Mothers can change diapers, make dinner, and direct children on just hours of sleep. A never- ending supply of sweet kisses abide in a mother’s grasp. She can heal a booboo with those kisses in an instant. She has the voice of an angel. This one I am particularly fond of since I do not have one, but my children love it when I whisper songs in their ears. When all these superhuman powers do not work, she relies on the regular human ones. Arms that carry thousands of loads of laundry, scrub floors, wash dishes and carry pounds of groceries, the same arms gently lift this child and walk, on legs that chase children and climb stairs for one last kiss. The mother carries her precious colicky child for hours with patience far greater than any she ever imagined. The mother carries her child and loves with the strength of a mother.

And what would this superhero wear? Besides cute shoes? There probably would not be an outfit my daughter could have come out with to prepare me for it all. Maybe it could have a charming red purse to put my kisses in. Whatever the outfit, it would probably not be pretty at all times, but definitely made with grace.

A little progress

So, I started Saturday, and actually got a hat crocheted and all the fabric bought, cut out, ironed and set, but sewing machine is missing parts-well one part, but it is an important one I think... so a trip to the store is in order. In the mean time, here is the hat...

Hopefully more will get done tonight!

Here we go....

I am completely aware, that I always "over do it." I always try to make everything home-made and perfect. It usually ends up home-made never perfect and sometimes on desperate occassions from a plastic grocery store container. I have not gotten over the shame of not doing everything myself. And I am not exactly sure where I get this from, because it is COMPLETELY NOT my upbringing. I have a great mom, she knows how to do a lot, she just never made herself do everything, and we NEVER had people over. Somehow, I got wired to want to have people over, but then to have to also make everything perfect. To the point that I drive myself crazy! So this week starts a week of projects: sewing my baby girl's baptism dress, knitting a sweater and hat and some cute hand mitteny type things for myself, that is all, and a week? With homeschooling, extra meetings, teaching a couple of classes at our co-op, I am sure I have time! I will try to add at least pictures as the journey starts. Warning: My hair may be crazy all the time and my house will probably be a mess in the background, but hopefully by next weekend I will have it all done and a little time to clean!

Books, Books and more books

If you noticed in my little "about me" section, I read OBSESSIVELY. It is a bit of a problem, a compulsion. Once I get into a book it is difficult for me to do anything else including sleep or eat. (I do make sure my kids eat and sleep though- I am not completely useless)
I am currently reading: Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
Let the Great World Spin by Colum McCann
Just Finished Reading: Her Mother's Hope by Francine Rivers
Want to Read: Her Daughter's Dream by Francine Rivers
The Help
... and all Time Favorite Books: The Book Thief
Mark of the Lion Series by Francine Rivers
Twilight Series
The Other Boleyn Girl
My Sister's Keeper

Running Journey, Part 2

So, I had become a "need to" runner. BUT I still ran a 10 minute mile. Until the day I met Chris, well at least I think that was his name. (obviously an influential individual in my life.) Rumor was that he had been a body guard for the spice girls and I think an interior designer. My friend and I had been training ourselves for a triathlon and needed some open water experience. We had heard of this group that got together at the lake to swim during the week, and since we thought that was illegal, we decided maybe going with a group would make it less illegal? Anyways, we talked to him to see if we could just show up and swim with them, since the race was just two weeks away and they had been training all summer. He said, "why don't you join our group?" (with a strong british accent.) They let us pay for just the next 4 training sessions- $20, we went for it. And it was worth it. He believed for some odd reason that even though I ran 10 minute miles, that I could run an 8 minute mile. He taught me the importance of speed training in both my swim and my run. And after two weeks of training I faced the race with mostly fear and a little confidence. After a 1/2 mile swim and an 18 mile bike, I ran the 5 miles to the finish line in 42 minutes, just over 8 minute miles, nowhere near 10 minute miles. And suddenly I wasn't just addicted to running I was addicted to becoming a better runner. So, now another 25k later and another triathlon later and one more precious little girl later, I am facing my goal. I want to run Chicago next year. And maybe even with 8 minute miles?!?!? We will see...

Running Journey, Part 1

I guess after 15 years of running, I finally consider myself a runner. And since running is one of the few things I have actually followed through on in my life, why not write about it. Many, well lets say most people think I am insane. I LOVE to run. It is not just an "I ate two pieces of cake last night" or a "my jeans are getting a little snug" type thing. It is not even my hypochondriacal mind telling me that if I don't run my arteries will clog and I will die. It is a NEED. Kind of a silly need because growing up I could not run a mile. I can remember dreading that test in gym class and for many years getting out if it because I had asthma. I was "excused" from running. Then one year my mom must have forgotten to write the note or it came on the wrong day, because I had to run. And I still remember I ran it in like 14 minutes and my face was beat red the entire rest of the day. But somewhere deep down inside there was this sense of pride, that I actually ran a mile, I had been given the excuse my entire life that I could not run. And then my dad, who has never really given me any great advice came up with this one little golden nugget. He said, "your lungs are like any other muscle, if you exercise them, they will get stronger." Apparently he had heard that loose quote from some former president of the United States, and well it stuck with me. It stuck with me until college, when I started to run. It started with a sneaking off to a street behind campus where no one could actually see me run, a block, and then sneaking back to my dorm room. I soon was able to run 2 miles, then 3 pretty comfortably. I got set in my pace of 10 minute miles. I ran for 30 minutes almost every day in college. And after college, I found my running routes wherever we moved, marked out 3 miles and ran. Then one day I found myself some running partners and we decided to train for a race, my third child was one month old when I started training, and he was 5 months, when I ran my first 25K and my running life changed to a NEED...my running journey to be continued