Living Life on Purpose - Just some random thoughts

Have you ever looked around and realized I am here. How did I get here? Is this the "there" I was always waiting to get to. And now that "there" is "here," and so what is my problem, because now I am "here" and here is not really all that great. I am not talking about contentment right now, because I am still working on that, but I am talking about that way of living where I am always waiting to "arrive." To get here, and once I am here I realize, I missed the whole trip. The kind of living which so perfectly resembles the car ride, that starts 5 minutes in with, "are we there yet?" and ends with, "I just really want to go home." And realizing we missed the journey, the adventure in the bathroom with no lights at the only gas station for 45 miles, the random purple elephant statue we saw in the middle of nowhere, and the really funny story that the five year old made up. I slept through it all, the whole journey, just anxiously waiting to get there. And now, I am here, and here is not all I want it to be. SO maybe it takes a little bit more living life on purpose. Intentional Living. Maybe it even takes a plan... a plan to stop at the purple elephant-- to make memories, and to be open to the adventure in the bathroom that is completely unplanned. I dont want to miss important moments along the way because I am too tired, too scared, too busy. I want to live my life on purpose. With eyes set on heaven, but head and feet in today.

Things I Love Thursday.... CHRISTMAS through the eyes of a child!!!!

There is something magical about Christmas. About the season. About the lights. I LOVE Christmas! And not really the presents, the presents kind of just stress me out. I love the magic of it. I never want to grow tired of it or lose the amazement. Christmas is the celebration of Jesus, the Son of God, coming off his throne in Heaven into this world. And that is amazing and awesome! My son has this really crazy way of joy. It is one of the closest glimpses I have seen of the joy promised us in a world so full of sadness. It is hard sometimes to imagine what life is like for him because he sometimes seems like he will explode with joy. And Christmas through his eyes is beyond wonderful. I love to drive down the streets and he sees lights and says, "MOM! LOOK IT'S CHRISTMAS!" He loves jingle bells -- the song-- and frequently just breaks into singing it. And he thinks it is beautiful, the lights, the snow, all of it. And he tells you, "look! it's beautiful -- in the way a three year old does, with not all the letters quite making the correct sound, and "oh, it is so pwitty!" He never really gets tired of it! Everything is new and wonderful. Christmas even makes snow wonderful. My children asked me if they can play in the snow this afternoon, and I said "Why would you want to do that? It is SO cold?" And they laugh, probably thinking, your just old mom. But on Christmas Eve, I am actually disappointed when there is not snow on the ground. Snow makes everything quieter, stiller. And on Christmas Eve that is what I want, quiet stillness.
I am so thankful for the little children's eyes I get to see Christmas with this year!

This post is linked to Things I Love Thursday at Diaper Diaries

Parties, House Guests and a Movie!

I have not written in a LONG time it seems, well frankly because life has been INSANE! Sometimes I think it is a wonder that I remember to breathe. I have had two phone calls today talking about Christmas shopping. One person called asking if she should buy my son a pillow pet because my 5 year old is getting one and would my 8 year old want one? and on and on the message went. I called my husband crying because if I had 5 minutes to think about Christmas shopping, it would be a miracle. I have not even picked up a book in 5 days! Every spare second I have had has been sleeping. And today not so much because my baby will not sleep unless she is being held. And for just a few minutes I am going to write because she did fall asleep and all my children are in respective rooms, and hopefully it will be an hour before I see them again, not that I don't love their little faces.

So, what have we been doing? Parties, house guests and a movie, that is what we have been doing! My son turned three, so we had a celebration that day, but then in true family form, we had a HUGE party on Sunday. This family I married into is committed, I believe, to let everyone know they are happy they were born in a gigantic way. Which for my son included lasagna, cake, truffles, a talking garbage truck, Legos, a remote control Lightning McQueen, and about 20 family members. I only had to get the cake, make the truffles, get my husband to a meeting, get my children to the party and then pick my husband up from the meeting to get to the party. So, not too much EXCEPT on the way to the party my husband made a phone call then turned to let me know that we had friends coming to stay with us that night and the next and they might get there at the same time we do from this party! I have not cleaned, vacuumed, washed towels, grocery shopped, thankfully they are good friends that don't really care about all that, but I still like to be a little prepared. SO 10 minutes after arriving home from the party, kids tucked in, our guests show up. We chatted for a while, went to bed, then my husband left for work in the morning, leaving me grocery shopping, homeschool, gymnastics, and getting children to the sitter. BECAUSE he had his big film premiere and it meant a lot for me to be there. AND so we hit the floor running and with help from my friend staying with us I did not have to tote all 4 kids to the grocery store, homeschool got done, lunch got made, dinner in the crock pot.... BUT what do you wear to a film premiere -- for me, pretty much what fits, because I am STILL trying to get back in pre-pregnancy clothes, so like it or not that is what I had to wear. Then, gymnastics, they had to go because it was the last day of testing to find out if they were able to move up a level, and I am so proud because they both did it! Drop them off at the sitter -- a wonderful friend who often offers to help with my children (somewhere in there pumped milk) -- drove to premiere, chatted it up a little with Lana Wood (former bond girl-who was in their movie -- and the only famous person I have ever met in my life). Watched my husbands movie premiere, I was SO proud, they did an amazing job. Drove home, picked up children, tucked them in, waited for my husband and friends to get home, got too tired went to bed.

And now I need a vacation! And a nap!

And Just Like That... He's 3!!!

I cannot believe it, my little boy is turning 3!

I asked him "Now that you are 3 what happens?" He said, "I can play FOOTBALL!!!!" Does he not know that it is not possible for me to love him any more than I already do? Well he may have found a way because saying that he is going to be a football player is the way to this mom's heart!

He is the only boy in our group of 4, and he is all boy! He makes us laugh every day. I have never met anyone like him. And I believe it was just two weeks ago, my little "ninja" was blaming me for his puddle of pee underneath him! And guess what, we have made it 3 days without an accident because, he is big now. So happy birthday my little David! He is my favorite little man in the world!

Identity

Isaiah 43:1b, “Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have summoned you by name, you are mine.”

I have always wanted to be one of those girls who is defined by something. I want to be the girl who only eats organic food, the girl who runs, the girl who backpacks, the girl who only feeds her kids healthy food, the girl who is well-liked, the girl who is funny. Any or all of the above would do for me. Unfortunately, I am probably not good enough at any of the above to actually say any one defines me. I am not the girl who always eats organic food, because my favorite dessert is M&M’s—that’s right give me M&M’s any day over anything; I will take it. I do run, but not well and not every day. I love to backpack and be outside, but too often I am afraid of wild animals. I am the girl who frequently spots the random cougar running through town—I am a bit paranoid. I try to do all of the above, but none I do well.

I saw a sign the one day that was by McGruff the crime dog. He said, “You spend a lifetime building your identity, but it only takes a second for someone to steal it.” For some reason this hit me. I have spent my entire life building my identity. I want all of these “things” to define who I am. I have spent years trying to figure out who I am. And maybe somewhere along the way I decided I needed to make who I am. So, I started finding my interests and becoming this “ideal” person in my book. Yet, I have never been very successful at any of it. I have tried so hard to be that girl, the one everyone admires. But that can be stolen too. McGruff was right! One word can just rip it down, and suddenly I am no longer that girl. I realized this one night when after a weekend of praising me and the decisions I had made to better myself, my husband came down with a criticism of something I did. You see, lately the girl I want to be is the educated, reader, tea-drinker, who does not watch TV and only eats healthy things, the girl who does yoga and runs, the self-disciplined girl. What’s the problem? I watched TV and suddenly I was no longer that girl. My husband apparently admired that girl. But I changed, or gave in to be not so self-disciplined and suddenly that was no longer my identity. I had my identity stolen by just this simple question of whether I was really going to watch TV tonight—and was it going to be that much TV. I had determined I was. I was sick and tired and wanted to watch 3 hours of TV. But when my husband brought this up, I realized I was no longer this girl, the girl who he had grown to like, even if it had been a girl around for only about 2 weeks. My identity was stolen, my pride was hurt and once again, I was left wondering who I am.

Thankfully several years ago, God really showed me who I am. I am His. That is what defines me, that identity, cannot be stolen. No matter if I am organic-eating or M&M-eating, running or sitting and reading, making wise decisions of my time or not so wise, I am still His. My identity is that of a child of God. I am chosen, dearly loved and precious. I am His precious daughter. Thankfully this does not change. I cannot make some mistake that will take this away from me or make me less His. I just need to keep reminding myself!

Thanksgiving Recap

Well.... I took a few days off, to enjoy being home with my family. We kind of took the whole week off, off of school, off of schedule, just pretty much off. It seems that Thanksgiving in my house always ends up kind of up in the air. We have hosted the past two years, and two years in a row our main guests, (my wonderful sister and her family) have had some major thing strike. Last year her husband tore his Achilles tendon the Saturday before and was in surgery the Tuesday before. This year, Sunday morning her 6 year old came down with strep-throat and then Tuesday her three year old as well. So both years we waited until Thanksgiving day to actually find out if anyone was joining us for dinner. And both years they forged through, making the five hour trek to share Thanksgiving with us. And I am very thankful they did!

This year we also started a new tradition. We started the morning trottin' with the turkeys! That is what they call the run here in town, the "Turkey Trot" It was so much fun! My eight year old did amazing! My five year old did a pretty good job. Here are some pictures....

There was a good turn out, over 1500 racers! (we were at the very back)our cheering team! (grandpa and 2 year old)



he had the best seat in the house!

Running to the finish line!

Karis and I finishing closer to the end, we were ending our 2 miles at the same time the 10k winners were coming in!

Determination, eye on the prize (the finish line had cookies and donuts-all the motivation this girl needs!)

A final push to the finish line!

We had a great time and a really, really good Thanksgiving!

Hat Skit - Hearts at Home National Conference

I love this skit, it is exactly how I feel most days. I saw Karen Ehman two years ago at the Hearts at Home Conference. Funny thing is, I never imagined life would be quite like this. In fact, I kind of thought it would be much different. If someone had asked me 20 years ago what my life would look like when I was in my 30s, I would have said, ...I thought I would live in a big city. I would drink coffee on the train commuting to work while glancing at the financial section of the New York Times. I was never going to be married. I thought I would adopt a child from another country.I thought I might change the world in some extraordinary way.

Instead, I live a crazy, unpredictable life. Doing far more than I ever imagined I could. And the far more is a whole lot of ordinary things. And some days, I get really tired and discouraged that it is not some extraordinary world changing thing -- like cure cancer, find a way to feed all the starving children in Africa, or bring world peace (you know all the reasonable goals that every young person strives for). BUT, then most days, I realize that the extraordinary thing I get to do is take care of these little people and make them ready to take on this world.