Its Been awhile....

Almost a year. It is kind of crazy, but I can only write when I can run. And a year ago, well almost a year ago I fell down my basement stairs. Last March I was trying to do way too much, talking on the phone while going down the basement stairs and carrying a bread machine, I fell. I heard the snap in my foot, and my legs went out from under me. Through tears I got back on my phone to explain to my sister, who was still talking and completely oblivious to the fact that I had just fallen, that I believed my foot was broken and needed to go to the ER, BUT I did not know what to do because my husband was at work and I was home alone with all four kids at the bottom of the stairs. They too had completely not heard the crash of my fall down the stairs. I yelled for my girls and they came. I got on the computer and started trying to facebook people for help after my husband had not answered any of my calls. I finally reached a friend and her husband. She was able to drive me to the ER and her husband, also our priest, was able to stay with my children until my mother in law arrived. My mom came as soon as she could to stay for a few days.
My husband finally was reached through a friend whose husband also worked there. He physically tracked my husband down. And when my husband met me... we actually laughed because we did not think it could get any worse. It was one tragedy after another.
Fast forward almost a year... 11 months actually and it has not gotten much better. For whatever reason we are still in a time of waiting. Waiting on a job for my husband that he found out he was losing over a year ago. Waiting to see what God is going to do. Today we were supposed to find out, but so far we have not heard. And over the past week we have been talking about one area we have so far not been willing to step out in faith in... wondering if this scary step is what all this waiting is about. And it is exciting, encouraging and a lot to deal with. And my foot did not heal, for months and it finally needed surgery... that was three months ago.
But, if you have not noticed, I am writing a blog, which if you remember at the beginning of this post I said I had such a hard time doing if I was not running. So guess what that means... I have started running again. It is so little. Just two times for two or three miles. But for the first time in a year I felt like myself. I felt like maybe I will make it.

Things I Love Thursday--- A Good Book! (A Review)

I have spent a lot of time reading this year. There has been a theme lately though... kidnappings... not on purpose, just how it ended up. But, most recently I completed Room by Emma Donoghue. Room, is about precisely that, a room. A room where a woman stays with her son fathered by her kidnapper. The story starts when the boy is 5 and is told completely from his perspective. This perspective is very different from any other person in the world since his world consists of only a very tiny space. Each object has a name instead of the door, it is just door. It is a remarkable story of the resiliance of children and what a mother will do for her child. The boy tells the story of his very busy life, "we have thousands of things to do every morning." which includes, doing laundry, gym class, and games his mother has made up to make time pass. (this gives whole new perspective to me as a mom when I now hear my children whine, "I'M BORED!") There is routine in his day and things he looks forward to. I do not want to give away what happens, but it does not get boring. There is more to Room than just the room. I highly recommend it. I was concerned it would be hard to read as a mom, but found it just the opposite. I was so proud of this mom. She handled her situation and its extremes much better than I handle my own day to day some times. But it was also realistic. As remarkable as she was she has her faults. I give this book 5 out of 5 stars. It is a creative take on a subject that thousands of stories have been written upon. This post is submitted to Things I Love Thursday at Diaper Diaries.

Top Ten Tuesday--- Ten Ways to Know, "Mom needs a vacation!"

It has been one of those years so far, where just about everything has gone not the way planned... husband loses his job (still no job promises and it is April), son takes first trip to the ER after diving into a metal thing that is in my couch for some reason, a week later... son is really sick and I am told by two different people that he should be O.K. BUT if he gets any worse take him immediately to the E.R. because it could be this deadly syndrome... followed by me falling down the stairs while home a lone with all four children resulting in a fractured foot. I have handled it all with a just few tears. Mostly I have held it together. BUT every once in a while life catches up with me. And I wish I came with a warning alarm, LOOK OUT! MOM IS ABOUT TO LOSE IT!!! Here are the Top Ten Ways to Know, Mom Needs a Vacation, I think I will make a copy for my children to keep on hand.

1. I spend more than an hour on the computer straight looking for places to vacation-- this one should seem pretty obvious

2. I put myself in more time outs than I do my children

3. I call my husband at 9a.m. to ask when he is coming home from work

4. I am willing to load up everyone to walk to the store (since my husband has my car) to buy a coke for some needed sugar/caffeine in the middle of the afternoon.

5. I say "yes" to just about everything my children ask because I do not feel like arguing about it (this one I will keep a secret-- I think it would be taken advantage of)

6. I yell at the top of my lungs, "I AM ON THE PHONE!" only to realize that I really am on the phone and the person on the phone may no longer want to be talking to me.

7. I yell again a couple of hours later like my three year old, because every once in a while I want him to understand what it is like to be screamed at ALL day long!

8. I am looking forward to just going somewhere after my husband gets home, I talk about it, plan it all day... even if it is just the grocery store or library-- but I am going. by. myself.

9. My children point out to me at noon that I am still in my pajamas and my hair looks kind of crazy. (this probably just adds to my need for a vacation, but probably not the best thing to say to a mom when she has been having a rough morning)

10. My FAVORITE... my six year old started writing hate mail today to give her dad about why mom is such a bad mom... she later explained that she would really think if she should give it to him, but do I understand how hard it is to be home with a mom who is having a rough day and there is no dad around? YES I understand, and I have a feeling if dad were around mom would not be having quite so rough of a day.

This is meant in good humor-- it has been a rough day for this mom, but all children are loved, laughed with and cuddled at this point, the house is quiet and tomorrow will come and a new day starts fresh. And hopefully soon a vacation!

This post is submitted to Top Ten Tuesdays at Oh Amanda

Magazine Review

Last Friday, my baby had her nine month check up, and I had to tote all four kids along. We were waiting in the waiting room, for what seemed close to forever, which always seems to be the case when you want your children to be quiet. My oldest asked if she could look at a magazine, quickly followed by the next two. She came back with a hunting and fishing magazine, I cannot remember the name, but quickly came to me with a look of disgust, "MOM! This magazine is about killing animals." Apparently that does not go along with the new club she is starting, "SAVE THE ANIMALS AND CHILDREN" So, she put it back and picked out a Family Fun magazine, much more up her alley. She looked through it and found THIS picture. She exclaimed that she HAD to make this. And the next day......

this is what she created on her own during quiet time... and her sister joined in the fun....

Well, our magazine adventure was not quite over that visit, my three year old son had been viewing Boy's Life. Which he grew tired of and went to exchange for a new one on his own, he returned with, Ladies Home Journal with Lauren Graham on the cover. I look at his choice, and commented, that one has a pretty girl on it. He looks at me with his sweet smile and answers, "YES MOM! I like pretty girls!" Followed by Verity's name for her appointment, phew!

Top Ten Ways "Vacation" has changed with children

I was never one to go on a lot of vacations, but the occassional weekend away with my husband pre-kids was always so refreshing. I also have so many fond memories of vacation with my family. My mom was great at making summer camping trips the excitement of the year for me. SO, when I had children I was more than eager for a weekend or week away to relax and have fun with my children. Well, it is fun, adventurous, but definitely different. After returning from a week long vacation with my children which I did as a solo-parent, I have been thinking of all the ways "vacation" has changed for me.

1. I need a vacation from my vacation-- a solo one in complete silence and with lots of sleep preferably

2. I now plan my route along McDonald's play lands

3. I play in the pool rather than lay by the pool

4. I pack a couple of books for those "down" times, and get there only to realize I will not have ANY down time and I should have saved that space for extra diapers/changes of little person clothes/snacks, etc.

5. I no longer pack a suitcase and small bag for necessities, I know need an entire U-Haul to go away for a weekend, sometimes I wonder if we are going to have to choose between suitcases and children when we are trying to load up and come home.

6. I spend A LOT of money, my quick coffee or soda at the gas station suddenly turns into, 3 candy bars, juice boxes, and water. And EVERY TIME we stop it is at a gas station, and I have a hard enough time saying no to the chocolate bar, so we load up again and again.

7. I no longer have any control over what we are listening to in the car.

8. People actually do say, "are we there yet?" Little people in particular. And they say it every 5 minutes-- I thought that was just in movies

9. We will almost ALWAYS come back with some sickness

10. Home will seem AMAZING! And I am already planning the next one-- it is kind of like childbirth, once you get home, you only remember the good parts.

This post is submitted to Top Ten Tuesdays at Oh Amanda.

Wordless Wednesday--Choosing Joy

I had a whole blog post written full of rants and complaints, but thankfully I got most of it out to my running partner... So instead I am choosing to be joyful, because I have SO much to be thankful for! And two of my "I'm thankful for's" are....

This post is linked to Wordless Wednesday at 5 minutes for Mom

Ten Things I have learned from Homeschooling...

So, I started homeschooling VERY tentatively, then with a little more confidence. I had a few expectations... hopefully they would get a decent education, some stability-- we have moved A LOT, and the ability to learn without a lot of distraction. What I did not expect was that I would learn something from it. So here it is 10 things I have learned from homeschooling.

1. History... I always found it boring in school. I never listened very well, and I am learning, actually learning SO much.

2. That learning takes time. I always thought I would sit down and teach my kids. I knew it would be hard at times, but I thought it would just work. They are smart kids, so why not? Well, it takes a lot longer to learn some things. I actually should have clued in years ago when my daughter, who was two at the time, was trying to learn her colors. I drilled her all day, she just could not get it. How? She had learned to count to 10 in five minutes. But colors did not work. And that is how learning is. There is no formula for how long/when someone will learn a new skill And sometimes learning takes time. Sometimes I need to pack it up and come back in a week or two.

3. Learning is fun. There is so much to learn and kids are naturally inquisitive. They want to learn and try new things.

4. Learning is not always fun. Sometimes it is just hard work. And that is OK. Kids need to learn, just like adults, that some things are worth working at.

5. Do not push it. I started my oldest at 4 in Kindergarten. I was determined to make her read. And I did it, but it was not pretty. And I should have waited. I should have let her play more. Kids only have so long to play.

6. Socialization is natural. It is what everyone worries about with homeschooled kids-- it is what I worried about keeping my kids home. Will they be able to function in a social situation? We are in gymnastics, gym classes, Bible Studies, AWANA, there is rarely a day my children do not interact with someone, and they completely get how to do it.

7. It might secretly have become my excuse to not clean my house:)

8. Each child is different. My children all look different, particularly my two oldest girls. And I have learned that they learn different, as different as they look... so just when I think I have it figured it out, it all changes.

9. I actually like my kids more, the more time I spend with them, usually. I am one of those odd people that likes people more the more I am with them, not the absence makes the heart grow fonder types. I tried working when my oldest was one, and I came home wanting NOTHING to do with her, even though I had been away from her for over eight hours. I would come home and put on the TV and sit, and ignore her. I definitely am tired at the end of the day, and I am sure I would love my kids a lot even if they were gone, and I would get used to it, but I am thankful I do get to spend so much time with them. I also have found that spending the day with them all day allows me to make amends when I am not liking them more.

10. I have learned that I am never going to make everyone happy, but so far it is REALLY working for my family, and so we will keep doing it, until it stops working. This is the one thing in my life I am really OK with leaving up to a year to year decision.

This post is personal -- not to say homeschooling is right or wrong, just my experience.

This post is linked up to to Top Ten Tuesdays at Oh Amanda