Poop on Potty Training!!!!

Poop! I hate potty training. Don't get me wrong I am incredibly happy when it is over and I don't have to change the diapers of an almost three year old, BUT in the middle of it, I hate it! I hate the messes, the fear of 'where is my child at this moment, is he hiding or is he going to the bathroom some random place in my house!' This is my third attempt. My first two were very successful, they were quick, easy. My first, my husband did most of the work -- so that was perfect!!! Then my second just wanted to be like her sister, so she just did it!

My third, he hates it, this morning he screamed at me, "I DON'T LIKE YOU!! YOU ARE MEAN MOMMY!" Just for making him sit on the potty? And I am not above bribery, I bribe with candy, stickers, cute underwear, you name it we have it. He just does not want to do it. He actually believes he will get a real truck when he is potty trained. He pointed it out to me the other day at the bank drive thru -- and I thought maybe this was a sign that he is NOT potty training until he is 16. Our day then proceeded with more screaming (I would not put pants or anything on him til he went on the potty) Some kids like to be naked -- not him -- after about 15 minutes he sat on the potty, tried really hard, did not go, and got to put on underwear -- CARS underwear (cool underwear)! He made it about 2 hours, which to my fault, I should have made him try again, but I really did not want to hear my sweet boy call me mean again and say he didnt like me! AND I was in the middle of some cooking projects. So, when he disappeared, I started searching -- David, where are you? Why are you hiding? To which he responded "I am a Ninja!" (sitting in a pool of pee?) Which he proceeded to blame on me -- he adamantly insisted that HE DID NOT WET HIS PANTS -- I did it! Well, once again, "I DONT LIKE YOU MOMMY! YOU ARE MEAN!" came out of my sweet boys little mouth. He was not allowed to put on new underwear/ pull-up/pants until he went on the potty. And 15 minutes later he was on the potty POOPING!!!! Then very grown up like he put on his alien underwear and pants. He then sat at the table to eat lunch and when his sisters did not understand what underwear he was wearing he stood up, pulled his pants to his ankles, breathed out a sigh of annoyance, "See?" And it is only noon and we are no where near done potty training.

Contentment

I am determined to teach my kids contentment. But why is it so hard? Probably because they see the restlessness in my spirit. So, I guess I am starting with teaching myself contentment. I have always felt my husband and I live pretty simply. Given "pretty simple" does not even always allow for our bills to be paid, but I honestly do not sometimes know where to give up things. We have basic cable, and this is the first time in 10 years we have paid for cable. We have internet, but eveyone has internet. We have cell phones, but dont text on them or go online, it is a simple plan. We need air conditioning and heat. And lets face it when the baby has not slept through the night in forever and I was up til 2 in the morning and I have to face grocery shopping with all four kids, successfully homeschooling, make lunch, do laundry, figure out babysitting for tonight, etc. I do deserve a grande nonfat no whip mocha from Starbucks. That is not extravagant living, that is living with just needs. Right? I am kidding myself I know. I just read this book, Winter Garden, by Kristin Hannah. The book in part describes the life in Russia during Stalin's rule, and all I can say to myself is, "you have no idea how good you have it."
And then I hear the complaints from my children, always wanting there to be something fun about the day. "Can we have a special lunch?" "Are we getting donuts at the grocery store?" "Can we order pizza and watch a movie tonight?" "Can we have a picnic in front of the TV tonight?" "Can I just buy this little sticker book? PLEASE!!!" And not surprising most of these things come with the expectation that I will say Yes. Because I constantly am rewarding myself or giving myself treats. It is how I make it through my day. But what happened to hard work? Now I do work hard, but does that mean I should be rewarded for it, shouldn't I just work hard for the sake of working hard? Isn't that how I was created? To work? I am disturbed by my need to entertain, treat, reward myself for every one of my accomplishments. And I am more disturbed how I am passing this on to my children. So I am starting with myself. In giving up my "treats" and "rewards" for hard work. And trying to be thankful that I have work to do, that I have four children to care for and a house that needs cleaning.I am attempting to turn my "deserving" heart into a "thankful" heart in hopes that my children might see and maybe a change of heart as well.