31 Days of "Things I Have Learned from my Children..." There is a time for joy

Days and weeks of fighting with my two year old have left me more than a little disheartened... BUT the thing that has killed me is the fight before bed. The one that is usually necessary for her to finally fall quiet into sleep. Sometimes it seems that she actually needs this fight, to release all the extra energy necessary for rest. But I hate it. I hate putting my little girl down to sleep after a battle, knowing it will (hopefully) be hours before I see her again.

SO we have come up with new things, a new routine, it involves rocking in a chair, singing songs about stars and "gucks" (ducks) and then me praying over her until she reluctantly gives into sleep. And my heart is quiet and full of joy knowing that in the end we made it without a fight.

And I am reminded of other times I chose joy.

Times when we laughed instead of dwelling on a moment of sorrow.

Times when we told funny stories instead of being afraid in the dark.

The times we play funny games in the grocery store to avoid the screams of being TRAPPED in a cart!

Times they asked me to tell a funny story about growing up or a fun adventure I had been on, when they are sick.

We chose to find joy, laughter, rather that the sadness or frustration of the moment.

And what in the situations of discouragement and frustration of my life should I choose? I should choose to remember God's faithfulness, to tell myself my own stories of God's goodness and blessing. I should find moments to laugh when I am taking life too seriously. And I should spend a few minutes with a giggling child when I am worn out with disappointment.

Because there is a choice.

And there is a time to choose joy.

31 Days of "Things I have Learned from my Children"....Princess on a Plane

This is one of my favorite stories, I tell it every chance I get honestly. And maybe it is not a thing I learned from my children as much as a thing I learned with my children. My oldest daughter to be exact.

It happened years ago, 9 actually. We were living in Oregon at the time and a dear friend of mine was getting married in Wisconsin. I was in the wedding so heading back for all the celebration. We only had enough money for one ticket so I was traveling by myself with my baby girl. She was just four months old at the time.

It was one of the nightmare flights that make you never want to get on a flight again. We were taking a little plane from our small town in Oregon to Denver, CO and hit some really bad turbulence. I had to stay in my seat, but my darling little girl was SO fussy. The nice flight attendant offered to walk her up and down the aisles during the short flight. All the turbulence had delayed our flight. I had a connecting flight in Denver to Minneapolis where I was meeting my sister to drive over for the wedding. The flight attendants knew I had this connection so called ahead to the airport to let the flight know we were coming. They also arranged for a little cart to be waiting since we had to get to the other side of the airport. All the other passengers let us off the plane first, and we hopped on that cart and flew through the airport at the top speed of maybe 5mph, as fast as the cart can go. When we got to the gate, I realized that there was no one waiting or boarding.

"Did they wait? We called ahead to say I was coming!" I was angry. The plane had boarded and was taxiing down the runway.

"Are there any more flights tonight?" They told me no. I was going to have to get a taxi, find a hotel, spend the night and come back the next morning and see if I could get on one then.

Tears filled me eyes. "Can you ask them to come back for us, please!" I don't know how I asked, if it was in whisper through tears or yelling in frustration. But they did, they called the plane.

Hung up the phone.

And said,"They are on their way back... to get you."

We boarded that plane, messy mom, weary and teary eyed with a screaming four month old. And people stared. I am pretty certain there was some disappointment in the eyes of the passengers as I sat down in my seat. I am also pretty certain that they planned to at least see someone famous, someone important. And my heart started beating faster, I am nobody, but I AM a daughter of the King of Kings, a princess, whose Abba Father put it on the heart of the pilot to turn that plane around and come back and get His child. He then carried that plane through the air making us arrive at our destination without one bump twenty minutes early with all our luggage on board.

It does not always happen that way, but sometimes, sometimes in the rain.. that is when the blessing comes, right in the midst of a storm. Blessings poured as gifts from heaven!

31 Days of Things I Learned from my Children...hard work pays off

The encouragement and cliches roll of my tongue...

"Things worth doing are hard!"

"If it was not hard, you would not be learning anything!"

"It builds character!"

Sitting with discouraged children trying to learn math facts, memorize dates on a timeline or sounding out difficult words. It is what days in our house often look and sound like. They are frustrating and a lot of work. I often do not understand what I am missing in teaching them and they do not understand what they are missing in learning.

But I keep cheering and teaching, and they keep working. Sometimes for weeks... we work on something, sometimes months.

But then all of a sudden, it makes sense! All the, "I will never be able to do this!" Turns into "I can not believe I learned this!"

And the things that are a struggle, the things that take more time are put on the pedestal for further cheering, because she did learn all the dates on her timeline, of course, with some hard work, she can learn those spelling words.

Each day they learn more, their minds growing at speeds I could hardly fathom when I started this whole homeschooling "thing." And I am encouraged because suddenly the hard work is paying off, and they, we, are seeing the fruits of our labor.

And I am reminded of my cheers, "Things worth doing are hard." Writing is hard, but it is something I want to do and something that needs practice, so I do it in hopes that there will be fruit in my labor. Training for a race or just running at 6:00 in the morning is hard, but they are worth the hard to get a result.  And relationships are work and hard, but they are worth doing.

The satisfaction knowing that it was worth it, all the hard, which led to the "I can't believe I did it!"

This is part of a 31 Days Series,on Things I have Learned from my Children. For the first post in this series click here.

This post is also linked to Titus 2 Tuesdays

31 Days of Things I Learned from My Children... Determination

Arms crossed, furrowed brow, and head that shakes in defiance - a snapshot of determination. She is pushing, testing to see what her boundaries are, but also fighting for a cause she absolutely believes in. And I am amazed at the conviction of this little two year old. I often wonder in the midst of one of our now daily struggles what my life would be like if I had just an ounce of her will.

A couple of days ago it was unfortunately about a "boogie" (her brother's boogie, to be exact) that her mother made her throw into the garbage. She was attempting to place it in my COFFEE! The fit that followed with garbage cans thrown and screams that shook the walls was staggering. She fought and battled with me for her need to have what she wanted, what she thought was hers. With complete reckless abandon, she fought for her cause.

Today the fit lasted one hour and twenty minutes - an hour and twenty minutes to say sorry to her brother for pulling his hair. I do not think it actually hurt him, all of our reaction was the same when he reported on it: "What hair?" But she said she had done it and was NOT apologizing. Over an hour later, she finally caved and hugged her brother with an apology. But this will, this determination, if directed in the right place just might do something or change something.

Through it all, my mind kept racing. "What if I had this determination? determination to yell louder? to SCREAM for things I TRULY believe in? for things that are right and good? What if I fought so hard for the things that needed fighting for? if I set my feet on the ground and said, NO! I am not standing for this! I am not caving on this one!" I think it is possible that if, at times, the right times, I followed the full-of-heart determination of my little, strong-willed baby girl, just maybe I might make a tiny difference in the world.

One of the things that makes my heart want to CRY OUT for justice and God's mercy is children without a place, whether that is because they have no home or parents to care for them OR their place as children has been stolen, replaced by a world full of people wanting to harm them. I often feel my hands are tied with life and responsibility. What I do is so little, but I just registered for the One Heart for Justice 5k this weekend that raises money for and knowledge about two groups, Titus Task and Ezekiel Rain, which are working on restoring the lives of orphans in NW Arkansas, Haiti, and Thailand. I am excited to learn more about these groups whose hearts beat with a similar beat as mine. And maybe join with other voices to scream for what is RIGHT and GOOD.

31 Days of "Things I have Learned from My Children"

I will be joining a group for the month of October to write for thirty one days. The challenge is to write every single day on one topic. I have picked...Thirty One Days of "Things I have Learned from My Children."

It has probably been the most eye opening thing as a parent to realize what a gift my children are as teachers. They teach me each day about my relationship with my Heavenly Father, what needs and wants look like and what disobedience does to relationships as well as grace. It has been a far bigger journey than I ever imagined; of God using my children to cut away and refine me while working on the process of making me holy. It has often been difficult, many times funny and always worthwhile. 

So, if you are interested in joining me over the next month as I look back on ten years of parenting and all the joys, stumbles, trials and triumphs that have brought me to a few steps closer to who Christ wants me to be, please pop over. 

OR if you are interested in any other topics, please stop by The Nester, there are some great topics being covered in the next month, I am looking forward to quite a few!

Five Minute Friday--- Grasp

I am trying this again, the Five Minute Friday challenge. It is a place where a group joins together to write on a word for five minutes. I am amazed at the thoughtfulness of others as I have often started and then given up. Searching after my failed attempt to see what on earth someone else could have thought to write on words like, “wide” or “focus” for five minutes. But I am giving it a try again, it is a great challenge!

Start

They always say to hold on to these moments, write it down, take pictures, at least mental ones, because these moments will not last.  You have to hold onto them, treasure them. I often cannot imagine what life will be like when they are grown. So I do, write it down, try to treasure little moments of songs and hand motions and giggles and laughter. I could never have imagined it though that they actually would grow up.

My oldest daughter turned ten this week, and I feel like I am grasping at time and her. Desperately holding onto time which is slipping through my hands and holding onto her but she is something I cannot hold on to. She is moving gracefully and awkwardly through life, and she is stepping out into a world that will try to grasp her away. I can hold her still now, but soon she will be free to go. And, I will always have a hand ready for her to hold on to when she does find her wings.

Stop

Continuing in Thankfulness
21. a daughter who loves to read
22. and then writes letters to the authors thanking them for their books
23. Watching my girl climb trees, her new found favorite thing.
24. A ten year old girl who still climbs in her moms lap for a hug at the end of the day.
25. And who lets her two year old sister climb in her lap at the beginning of the day to read books so her mom can go for a run.

And in the end... Blessing (again)

I wrote this post yesterday, but I think maybe I was too worn out. It sounded like a desperate cry instead of the hope I was actually feeling. But God is still speaking... loud as ever, this is what I saw today, and it only affirmed in me that God wants me to hear this in my suffering right now. And I am not without hope because this is true....

 "In the same way I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born," says the Lord. 

Isaiah 6:9

She whispers under her breath to me, "I do not know if I can do this... for six more months." She knows the battle she is about to face. Her body fighting the baby she is growing. Months of suffering lie ahead.

They wait for relief with prayers and petitions, that have been lifted and cried to a merciful God, for mercy. Relief from the unknown waiting if a job will come, if bills will get paid, if a house will still be a home.

And I wake in the dark, and a whole day full of possibility awaits, full of unknown. And all I want to do is crawl back in bed because the possibilities today are overwhelming. The questions of, "What are we doing today?" "Can you make me breakfast?" "Can I go to our neighbors?" "Do we have to read that?" and it goes on and on. But I am afraid to go into the place that is quiet and alone because if I do, I am not sure I will ever leave. So I keep moving, answering the questions, cooking and cleaning.

 "Mom just likes to be alone." And I tell myself it is because I am an introvert and need time alone, but really it is because I am not sure how to be around people when I feel like my insides are falling apart.

Words about joy in suffering, wrestling like in child birth with demons that come back, and like child birth just when it feels like you might die from the pain, a blessing. I sat listening to Beth Moore in Bible Study today. Tears stinging my eyes, again. She spoke about the Greek and Hebrew and how over and over in scripture God talks about anguish and joy together. And the anguish compared with child birth. But then God. God changes our sorrow into joy. And we miss it if we give up on trusting that God will care for us in the midst of our sorrow and suffering, we miss the blessing.

And God, God is all His sovereignty and grace is speaking in words to me, so loudly I can not help but hear because it makes my heart beat faster. It is like your name is being called in class and you are not sure you are really ready for that presentation. Right now, here, He is speaking so loudly, and I want to cry again because He knows exactly what I need to hear right now. And that is scary and lovely all at the same time.

BUT there is HOPE because...

The weight of sickness is great, and her body is fighting her in this pregnancy. She knows that in the end... blessing.

Friends without jobs waiting, so much longer than they thought they should wait, knowing that God IS good, knowing in the pain God is still good, HOLD ON, in the end... blessing.

And, I am in the midst of a struggle. Sometimes, I just get tired in the fight. But God is speaking these words to me. Do NOT give up; in the end... BLESSING.