David Turns 7!

Today, my David turns seven! I cannot believe it has been seven years! He is one of my favorite people in the whole world. He is kind and gentle hearted. He is brave and strong. He makes everyone laugh. And if you could make joy into a person, I think it would look a whole lot like this boy!

Some of my favorite David memories include:

David telling his grandma how beautiful her hands are, I wrote the story here....

One of my favorite moments was a day when I was scared to get out of the car. We were visiting a farm and there were a couple of dogs surrounding our car. I was scared. I am unnaturally afraid of dogs after a couple of unfortunate run-ins with dogs on my runs. I had no idea what to do. David stood up and started walking toward the door, "I guess it is time to face my destiny." He declared. What a hero. I told him to sit down though and called the owner of the farm to see if they were friendly. He told me they were fine.

His sister has been known to say, "Have you spent time with this boy? You really should, he is so much fun."

He gets along with all of his siblings. And especially his new brother. He often tells Bozhi that he is "awesome" and that they are the best brothers ever!

The other day our family was going to stay home from church because we had a bit of a rubella scare that turned into absolutely nothing, but to keep our germs to ourselves we stayed home. David was in the clear though. So he was going to go with his daddy. But he did not want to, he likes going with his whole family.

His sisters are his best friends.

And his favorite song these days is "Chicken Fried" by Zach Brown Band.

I love this boy to the moon and back and so thankful I get to be his mom!

6 months....

Six Months ago tomorrow... I walked into the orphanage to hold our son and bring him home.

I am SO thankful this little boy is in our family. But every time he makes a milestone I am angry. Angry that for years "they" just said, "He can't" He can't gain weight, he can't talk, he needs help walking. Because he can do all those things. He is not talking yet, but he is making new sounds all the time. And even if Bozhi never speaks, he is learning to communicate. To talk through sign language. He now signs, "Thank You." "More." "Sorry." "All Done." "No" "Please" "Help" "Potty" "Eat" and his own signs, "Time to eat." and a choking sound that means I am thirsty. He says, "owie" and "hot" and we frequently hear him saying "ttttttt" He also is learning what cold weather feels like, whenever he steps outside in the cold he says, "BRRRRR..." and pulls his sleeves down to cover his hands. He sometimes rubs his hands together when he is cold too. Bozhidar has amazed me.

Last week, we visited a new bookstore. Somehow Bozhidar knew that he should ask for EVERYTHING! First, he got to ride on an escalator. He giggled the entire way down and kept trying to get back on. He then found a ball that he loved and picked it up and pointed to himself. He was asking me to buy it for him. I had a hard time saying "no." Has anyone just bought him what he wanted before? I put it back in the bin. I have five kids, I cannot buy them all what they want. He went and got the ball again. A blue one with stars. He hugged it and put it to his cheek. He loved that ball. I agreed to buy him the ball. The other kids understood. He asked for about twenty other things, but in the end the ball was what he really, really wanted.

He loves to help his dad make coffee in the morning. He empties the dishwasher and wipes the tables. He scrapes his plates into the garbage and loves to boss everyone around.

The other day Verity woke up and ran out of her bed, "Bozhidar! I am so glad you are my brother." A few days later she said "I hate having a little brother." It is not perfect. But it is a family.

And he weighs forty pounds. He has gained twenty pounds in six months. He has doubled his weight. He is four inches taller. And he needs new shoes AGAIN!

Superman for Halloween seems appropriate!

And I asked if I could take his picture... he would not do it without someone with him. First Karis

Then David, but he just wanted to kiss him and then tackle him. 

They are good brothers!

We went to an apple orchard yesterday.

and he reinacted Titanic...

and took over a pirate ship

He is a blessing. We are so thankful to have him in our family!

3 months...

Three months ago yesterday we picked up this tiny boy from his orphanage. He remembered me from five months ago when Nathan and I brought him bananas every day. He looked at me when he was told, "It's your mom!" And he signed "more." We had taught it to him five.months.ago.

You read all these books on parenting and adoption. Prepare for the hard times. Think you are ready and then you go and meet them to be yours forever. And the things that you thought would be hard are not that hard and the things you thought you could do are SO hard.

Bozhi, was so skinny, changing his diaper brought tears to my eyes. It was painful to look at him. We were told it was because he was disabled. Three months later, 12 pounds later and two inches taller, I think they were wrong. He has outgrown the first two pairs of shoes I have bought him.

I was prepared to not attach, to have him not attach to me. It is different with someone who cannot communicate. But since the day in the apartment in Sofia when he leaned over and unexpectedly kissed me, this boy has known, I am his mom. His affection is actually overwhelming at times. He wants all of my attention. He even knows when I am having a hard day and will put his hand on my face. He has empathy for others. When his brother got hurt the other day he kissed him and put his hand on his back to hug him. How does this child know that. He offers part of his food to others and loves to share his food, especially what he does not like.

He is still learning to play. He got very excited about legos this morning. But often just wants a job to do. Find some garbage to throw away or dishes to put away and he is on it. He knows where everything goes.

He remembers the names of people very quickly. If you ask him to bring something to so and so, he knows exactly what you are asking.

He understands almost everything I tell him and when he wants something he tells me. By getting his shoes (go somewhere); pointing at his mouth (eat); pointing at his diaper (I have to go potty... yes he is going potty several tiimes a day); hand on his head means he is tired; taking off all his clothes and going to the bathroom means give me a bath.

He loves the waterslide at the pool and anything wild. He hates just sitting at the pool. If he sits too long he goes and gets his clothes and puts them on.

Yesterday he picked out his own outfit and got himself dressed.

He is extremely opinionated. He will only wear shirts with collars and khaki pants/jeans or shorts. He will not wear sweatpants. We call him Mr. Handsome. It drives us all a little crazy.

He wants to get his drink HIMSELF. Which thirsty is signaled with a fake cough. But he cannot reach the sink, so he really wants you to lift him up so he can do it.

The other day he started clearing plates at the little cafe in town for other tables. Thankfully they were done and very accomadating.

He shakes hands with everyone he meets. But if someone gets too close or invades his space, he screams louder than anyone I know.

His brother had me write the other day, "David and Bozhi, best brothers ever." His sisters think he is the cutest thing ever and they help him as much as he lets them.

His laugh is contagious.

He is still sad if he is left behind and greets me with almost a run and arms up when I get home.

We start his therapy this week.

It has been three months. We are still finding routine. But most days I am kind of in awe at this little survivor, who is not so little anymore.

He is part of a crazy family that loves him.

Happy Birthday to Verity!

Tomorrow sweet Verity turns 4! We are headed to Chicago/Wisconsin for three weeks, and driving on her birthday. Thankful for friends that helped celebrate her a little tonight.

This girl has completely changed my world. Somehow being a mom I thought by number four I would have it all figured out. But each one is SO different. And she has thrown me into a whole new world of mom. She is a challenge and a joy. She is smart and thoughtful. She is determined and kind. She still does not sleep through the night, but I love seeing her face next to me in the morning. She has more energy than anyone I know. And she sees the world like no one I know. I am so thankful each day that I get to be her mom. I have put together a few quotes of hers from the past year....

Me: "Verity, where are your pants?" Verity, "They fell off when I was walking." Me, "And you just left them there?" Verity, "Yes."

Verity, "I am NOT afraid of the dark mom! Just get me a sword, I will get any monster that comes in here. Or zombie!"

Me, "Verity, sometimes I wish I could be just like you, you are so cute!" Verity, "I know AND I have crazy hair and I am really funny!"

Conversation with Verity last night, "Mom, I am not going to cry anymore. And I am going to listen to you and do what is right and say 'Yes, ma'am." Me, "Those are great ideas!" A few minutes later... Me, "Verity it is time to go to bed." Verity, "NO! I don't want to go to bed." me, Umm, do you remember what you just said you were going to do?" Verity, "Yes, I meant I would start that TOMORROW!"

"Mom, God did not make daddy's tattoos, daddy drew them. But God DID give me a tattoo, it is a flower right on my cheek."

Happy Birthday to my sweet, beautiful fun loving girl!

A Little Update

There have not been big updates these days. Summer is in full swing in the Jacobs household which means lots and lots of GO!

The two oldest girls have swim team practice four days each week. Karis continues horseback riding lessons once a week and Anya has been doing an acting camp... NOT to be mistaken with drama camp the past two weeks for four hours every afternoon. While she acts we swim at the pool.

Bozhidar and I spend a lot of time enjoying sun and watching the kids play.

until this girl comes a long and decides we should not be dry any longer....

But today, he decided to try the noodle. He put it under his arms as he had seen his sister do over and over and he kicked and laughed, choking on water from laughing so hard. We did it over and over, taking turns with Verity who would jump and swish back to the side. Then Bozhidar would lean forward and fall on the noodle floating as I zoomed him in circles. He is playing.

After the pool we headed home to change and go to the library. Bozhidar transfered a sign. He has signed "more" whenever he wanted to eat. But at the library as Anya brought him a book and he looked at the pictures, when he finished, he signed "more." Which to me meant he knows what it means. AND that I really need to learn some more sign language.

We all went to check out at the front desk. We have a bit of an absurd library system in our small little town. Each family member has their own card and that card can check out six books. So, it takes a long time to figure out which card has room for more books and balance which books go on which card. I kind of just wish I could just have 42 books for my family and not keep track of which one is on which card. But just a little aside to explain why it took so long to check out at the front desk. Bozhidar had squirmed out of my arms and was walking down the length of the front counter. The next thing I knew, he was behind the librarian desk ready to help in any way he could.

Bozhi, is learning that he can explore the world. He will go to different rooms in the house and does not wait for someone to move him here or there. He chooses to walk more than crawl. And the pants that he wore most of the time we were in Bulgaria, the ones we had to role up three inches to keep over his shoes, those pants, do not role up at all anymore, they just stop at the top of his shoes. And the shoes, the new ones I bought, his toes reach the end. He is growing.

But the day which was another marathon of a day was full of lots of good. And a little bad. The running got run, which always makes for a good day. The lawn got mowed, laundry got done and dishes got washed, and dishes got dirtied and more dishes got washed. I was ahead of the game planning for dinner, a delicious dinner in the crockpot. But somehow in the making of lunch, the crockpot got unplugged and four hours later it was discovered. So takeout was gotten.

And the greatest good, was the little almost four year old with more energy than I ever know what to do with, fell asleep on the couch. She has been saying for weeks that she is tired, but you would never guess it by the go she has, the run and the energy. But she collapsed at 6:15 before dinner or milk or anything and she is finally sleeping.

Lots of good and blessing!

Learning to Play!

Over the past four weeks Bozhidar has grown physically, he is taller, heavier and he no longer fits in his shoes. But the things that make my heart warm are how he is learning to be a kid.

When we first brought him from the orphanage he had no idea what to do with a book. He just threw it, and a car or any toy was just thrown on the floor. He wanted to eat and to go. So that is what we did. But two and a half weeks with four other kids and he is learning to play. 

He has learned that there is fun happening in other places and will go explore what is going on in the other room. Or if the kids are outside and he is not, he will go get my shoes and let me know it is time for us to join them. The other day, everyone including the neighbors were outside. He went and got my shoes and then my purse. I was meeting with someone so was not able to go right at that minute but when our neighbor came in to ask a question he begged her to take him with him. He rode on the tractor and wanted to just be a part of it!

He was initially afraid of the pool but now enjoys it. Especially the splashing part! 

(he is in the water, it is zero depth, not right on the edge as this picture makes it look :) )

And he has learned there are times during the day he gets my undivided attention. Like bath time... which he asks for several times a day by taking off all his clothes and walking to the bathroom. He also knows that he gets to read books with me at bedtime and eagerly wants more and more books. He turns the pages and sits while I read and as he grows tired he rests in my arms his head on my chest and he knows, I know, this is where he belongs!

He is finding his place and is loved by his siblings immensely. It warms my heart to see how they have just accepted him. Even Verity who asks me almost every day why I wanted five kids, and today told me it would have been better if I had just had one, her. But when she is around Bozhidar she talks to him, helps him, cheers him on and wants to be part of his everything. 

Karis wakes up every morning, changes him, makes two eggs, warms his milk, cuts up a banana and feeds him his breakfast before feeding herself, while all the other kids get breakfast and I either follow around cleaning up or get to go for my run. 

Anya I think makes him feel safe, he will always go with her and just likes to be around her. And David will sit and offer him toy after toy, showing him how to play with it. They fight over who gets to sit next to him at meals and love on him like he should be.

This little boy, who we have prayed for and fought for IS a blessing to our family. But there is a lot of a lot that comes with this like doctor's appointments several times a week to add to our already full schedule and unknowns about just about everything.

And for some reason the difficulty of here, the things that have been happening for the past month, two months, keep getting harder. I want to encourage but I also want to be realistic. That though I am blessed, nothing about life is easy. The past few months have been harder than any I have experienced in my life, they have been humbling and refining and teaching me that I have so far to go.

So we continue to walk forward, blessed and praying and thankful for prayers!

Home

Forgive me, this post will be long. But it is one I have meant to write for days, and just have not had time....

Three weeks ago, I was getting ready to head to Bulgaria to meet our little boy for a second time, to welcome him to our family. And I was terrified that he would not remember me. We had a good easy flight and settled into a great apartment in Sofia. I went with my mom, a trip, I never dreamed she and I would get to do together. The day after we arrived they picked us up early in the morning to make the drive to our son's orphanage. The orphanage is about three and a half hours away. The drive was easy but long waiting again to see what he would think when he saw me again. I had packed a banana, since last fall when we saw him, every day we brought a banana. When they brought him in the room he cried and I reached out for him. He sat on my lap with tears. They said, it is your mommy. And he stopped. He looked at me and reached for something. I thought maybe one of the toys I brought? No, he was reaching for the backpack. It was a different backpack, but a backpack was what I brought a banana in every day last fall. He got off my lap and reached for the backpack. I pulled a banana out, and he signed, "more." We had taught him that last time we spent with him. HE REMEMBERED!!!! He eagerly ate that banana like he had never eaten in his life. And then we left, and I honestly do not think he has looked back.

Has it been what we expected? Kind of. Has it been hard? At times, yes. But honestly, he is kind of the dream child. My mom and I often would just look at eachother kind of amazed at how amazing he is. He spent the week and a half there eating, and eating and eating some more. He has gained over three pounds in the two weeks we have spent with him. He likes to eat and sleep and then go. After eating, he gets his shoes and climbs in the stroller and wants to go. There is a world he has been waiting to see and it is time. He then eats some more and walks to his crib for a nap. He then eats some more, gets in the stroller and wants to go. Then back to eat some more and sleep. That was what the days looked like. And he did not care where we went. So we went on a walking tour of Sofia, visited old churches, souvenir shopped, met other families on pick up trips and went on adventures to find the nearest Starbucks. We walked to the park and watched kids play. For now, that is mostly what he does, watch.

Our plane ride home was long. The entire trip was twenty one hours. He slept one hour of that. Bozhidar does not watch T.V. or show any interest in any electronics. So for twenty hours he just sat and watched and ate when we gave him food. He did not complain, he was patient. Our stop in Houston and immigration was horrible. They were on a power trip and gave me a very hard time. Thanks to an amazing man who helped us through the airport though, we still made our flight with four minutes to spare. There was a lot of running. Bozhidar laughed with glee as we raced through the airport, even nineteen hours after traveling. We boarded the plane and the flight attendant greeted us. He asked how old Bozhidar was, this is the question I dread the most. He is seven. They ask me to repeat it usually because there is no way he should be SEVEN? I explained he really was. The man came back several times. And finally near the end of the flight came and gave me his email address. He said, "I am really moved by this little boy, I want to know how he does. Can you email me in a few months and just let me know?"

And that is Bozhidar. A perspective changer.

Because here at home, the things I left that were hard are still hard. But there is a little boy who lived in an orphanage and never had a mom to hold him and siblings to kiss him more times than he could bear. He never had a dad's strong arms carry him. He for whatever reason has not been fed. His teeth are rotten. He is seven and weighed twenty pounds. There is nothing fairy tale about his life. But when you meet him, his smile and joy that lights his face will make you smile. He is sweet and outgoing and funny and FULL OF LIFE. It is kind of like he was just waiting for this moment, his moment. And life and joy exude when it does not make sense to be joyful, when life has not been easy. And whatever is hard here is given perspective.

The first days and weeks spent together we saw some of his nervous, self stimulation wane. He rocked all the time when we picked him up, but by the end of our time in Sofia it was no where near as often. Some of that picked up again surrounded by four very full of life children, but it has started to fall off again. He does not stuff food in his mouth because he knows it will not be taken from him. He does not sit straight up on my lap. He lets me hold him and collapses in my arms. Last night and today as I asked if he was ready for bed he leaned into my arms, completely comfortable in my lap and slept. He has never had a mom hold him as he fell asleep and now, he knows, I am his mom and my arms are exactly where he belongs.

I am blessed and thankful

We are very fond of eachother and his family adores him. He spent hours yesterday just watching Nathan work. And today he braved the pool, laughing as Verity splashed him. Everyone who meets him is struck by his sweetness. He has quickly learned that Anya and Karis will meet his needs. And that Verity is his sister, she does not care who he is she is not going to let anyone push her around and he has learned to push back, if she is in his spot he pushes her right out. They are instant siblings :) David adores his brother. He has waited so long for another boy.

There is a lot ahead for him. Dental work, neurosurgeon appointments to look at his shunt, physical therapy, speech therapy and medical tests. Nothing is certain and there is a lot ahead. But this boy, this Bozhidar, is truly a "gift from God." And this time that has not been as hard as I thought is absolutely an answer to prayer.