I always assumed my children would be talented at something, maybe that something would help them in a career or maybe it would hinder them from a real career. But I always assumed that I would encourage that gift. I knew that I would help my children find what God had gifted them with and encourage them to grow in that ability, not just that ability, to be well rounded of course, but I really wanted them to use what God had given them. This is probably one of the only things I really, really thought about before having children. Helping them find who God made them to be.
HOWEVER, I never thought about the gifts God would give them that were not career, life gifts, but gifts of the Holy Spirit in them. But recently I have seen my Karis has a real gift of encouragement. She is one of my biggest challenges because I adore her, but she is so foreign to me, so unlike me that I have no idea how to be a good mom to her. SO last week, she was throwing up, and being very brave about it. After her second bout of being sick, she was cuddled up by me in my bed, and she said, "Mom, you are a really good mom. You made me feel so good while I was sick, you have stayed up with me, you came in the bathroom with me, you rubbed my back, you did all those things and they made me feel better. Thank you." It was eleven o'clock at night and she is seven years old. And here my daughter is encouraging me! Then a few days later we went to get her ears pierced as a special treat, just her and I. She said all night that it was the best night of her life, but after she got her ears pierced, again, she said to me, "Mom, you did such a good job making me feel better, letting me hold onto you tight while I got my ears pierced. Thank you!" And the final gift for me was last night during prayers, she prayed for my run this morning, knowing how much I want to run and how hard it has been for me, she prayed that I would have a good run this morning. So this morning while I ran, I thought of my Karis and what a gift she is to me, what an encouragement!
Friday, May 18, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
More than I bargained for....
We had waited for so long for this. We waited and wondered how long we would have to wait, and THEN we got a job. AND we were thankful. So thankful for all the blessings of a job and a fresh start and finding our inner small town. We were even blessed to find out that Siloam Springs, AR is on the list of top 20 small towns in the country. BUT as we prepare for this new adventure I have found that moving and owning a house and being all grown up is a bit more than I had bargained for. My amazing husband has decided to do EVERY task we have not done over the past three years in one month to make our house market ready. And I admire him for his hard work. But I worry that it is all for not. That this house won't sell, that we will be unable to move, that we will be stuck. I worry that God wont hear THIS part of the prayer. And today was about the breaking point. Everything that could possibly go wrong with fixing up did. He just could not go any more. And there are still four kids to take care of and mouths to feed and activities to get to. There are still dishes to be done, homeschooling to think about, work for me.
And all I can think, is that this is WAY more than I bargained for. I thought once we got to having a job, everything would fall into place, but it hasn't and right now, today it is hard to see where the end will be. I had one of my "I Hate the Color Blue" moments. I wrote about it last year. It is when all the things I want in life to be OK are not and then everything starts to go wrong. Like if someone actually built a counter top into a wall?and said counter top needed to be removed so it needs to be split apart by sheer force which may or may not involve taking some of the wall off?!?! and then I spilled an ENTIRE bottle of grape juice all over the floor? and THEN after my husband repainted/caulked fixed stuff outside a TORRENTIAL rain comes plowing through? and kids have to be at a birthday party and husband is ready to pass out and thinks he is dying (sometimes a bit of a hypochondriac) And bread needs making for tomorrow, the house is trashed and I work tomorrow and have a meeting which means sick husband has to take care of kids and a messy house, I need to clean the house....tuck in kids, and somewhere in it I decided to TRY and help which usually means disaster and instead of using a paint scraper to take off paint on the sink, I took skin off my wrist and we don't have running water because we are putting in a sink so baby wipes and Neosporin will have to do. AND just to end it all the brand new counter top/faucet leaks. They worked for 10 hours straight and it just did not work out, and everything seemed to fall apart. And for now I am also going to "Hate the color blue."
I am going to write a rant, and then wake up tomorrow thankful for all I have to rant and complain about, for a house to fix up, for kids to feed and a husband who loves me enough to do all this. But today it is WAY more than I bargained for.
And all I can think, is that this is WAY more than I bargained for. I thought once we got to having a job, everything would fall into place, but it hasn't and right now, today it is hard to see where the end will be. I had one of my "I Hate the Color Blue" moments. I wrote about it last year. It is when all the things I want in life to be OK are not and then everything starts to go wrong. Like if someone actually built a counter top into a wall?and said counter top needed to be removed so it needs to be split apart by sheer force which may or may not involve taking some of the wall off?!?! and then I spilled an ENTIRE bottle of grape juice all over the floor? and THEN after my husband repainted/caulked fixed stuff outside a TORRENTIAL rain comes plowing through? and kids have to be at a birthday party and husband is ready to pass out and thinks he is dying (sometimes a bit of a hypochondriac) And bread needs making for tomorrow, the house is trashed and I work tomorrow and have a meeting which means sick husband has to take care of kids and a messy house, I need to clean the house....tuck in kids, and somewhere in it I decided to TRY and help which usually means disaster and instead of using a paint scraper to take off paint on the sink, I took skin off my wrist and we don't have running water because we are putting in a sink so baby wipes and Neosporin will have to do. AND just to end it all the brand new counter top/faucet leaks. They worked for 10 hours straight and it just did not work out, and everything seemed to fall apart. And for now I am also going to "Hate the color blue."
I am going to write a rant, and then wake up tomorrow thankful for all I have to rant and complain about, for a house to fix up, for kids to feed and a husband who loves me enough to do all this. But today it is WAY more than I bargained for.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
An Extra Blessing at Easter
This Easter we celebrated with our church all weekend the joyous blessing of Easter. Our church celebrates all weekend with Saturday night being an Easter vigil. The first hour is readings through the Old Testament with music and scripture, starting with Creation and going through the promises of Scripture. And then there is the Holy Noise, when we rejoice that Jesus is risen, there are bells and clapping and cheering and we rejoice and the whole church changes from sorrow and darkness to joy. The cross is changed from being covered in black to a banner of white draped across it and flowers fill the church and banners fall and the children dance. It is a huge celebration and seems to fit how I think Easter should be, a celebration!
BUT the extra blessing this Easter came from my little boy. I believe God is close to children, that they hear Him better sometimes than adults because we are so busy with life. And this little boy that I have been gifted with is the closest thing to joy I have seen in my life. It is hard not to smile when you are around him. And from the time he was a baby I have seen joy burst from him. His AWANA teacher told me last week that he always knows his scripture reading, which I found kind of funny since I never have looked at his book with him or worked on a verse, I do it more for his socialization than anything to be honest. I asked him about it and he said, "they are just in my head, mom." AND this is the boy who always goes up for prayer at the front of the church and frequently asks that they pray for his heart, because he knows he needs a good heart. He asked so much that one of the men who prays with him finally asked us if he has a heart problem. No heart problem, just a knowledge that his heart is what needs to be right with God I guess. So on Good Friday this weekend, we went up to pray at the foot of the cross. I asked him if I could pray with him about anything. He said, "Yes, I want to pray that Jesus makes me alive!" And that was it. My heart swelled as my son reminded me that is just what Easter is about, He died so we can have life, eternal. So we can have new life, we can be alive. So we prayed, Jesus make us alive!
So thankful for the new life God has given me and for the blessing of these little children that teach me SO much about God who is so close to His children.
BUT the extra blessing this Easter came from my little boy. I believe God is close to children, that they hear Him better sometimes than adults because we are so busy with life. And this little boy that I have been gifted with is the closest thing to joy I have seen in my life. It is hard not to smile when you are around him. And from the time he was a baby I have seen joy burst from him. His AWANA teacher told me last week that he always knows his scripture reading, which I found kind of funny since I never have looked at his book with him or worked on a verse, I do it more for his socialization than anything to be honest. I asked him about it and he said, "they are just in my head, mom." AND this is the boy who always goes up for prayer at the front of the church and frequently asks that they pray for his heart, because he knows he needs a good heart. He asked so much that one of the men who prays with him finally asked us if he has a heart problem. No heart problem, just a knowledge that his heart is what needs to be right with God I guess. So on Good Friday this weekend, we went up to pray at the foot of the cross. I asked him if I could pray with him about anything. He said, "Yes, I want to pray that Jesus makes me alive!" And that was it. My heart swelled as my son reminded me that is just what Easter is about, He died so we can have life, eternal. So we can have new life, we can be alive. So we prayed, Jesus make us alive!
So thankful for the new life God has given me and for the blessing of these little children that teach me SO much about God who is so close to His children.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Roller Skates and Memories
If I were to describe my childhood, the fond memories would always include, swimming at the local pool, roller skating and family camping trips in the summer. It seemed like a whole different world then we live in now, there was so much freedom. We knew to be home for meals and bedtime. There were no cell phones to track us down at every minute, and we survived it.
And, when I think back on my childhood there was definitely a good couple of years where it would have been difficult to tell if my feet were actually feet or in fact roller skates. Because, I lived in roller skates. I think it was probably the years of kindergarten and first grade, although now that I have a first and fourth grader I cannot believe my mom let me just roller skate around the neighborhood unsupervised, but we did. We lived for roller skating. We helped the mailman with his mail route, although we were not allowed to touch the mail or even the mail cart, I think we might have gotten away with the mail cart every once in a while, pushing it to the next house. We roller skated from the moment we woke up, until we went to bed. Frequently eating our dinner in roller skates or wearing them in the car while my mom went through the drive through. We roller skated on sidewalks, in driveways and even in the basement when it was too cold or rainy. I have this clear memory of my sister and best friend, roller skating down the road with our long brown hair, attempting to convince the mail man that we were in fact triplets. Years later all that practice helped us at the roller rink when we had to skate backwards for the slow skate or do the limbo for prizes. But my fondest memories are the spring and fall days when it was not too hot, roller skating with my sister and dear friend.
So... imagine my delight as my girls discovered my old roller skates while visiting their grandma's house a few weeks back. My old red, white and blue roller skates, still in pretty good condition. They roller skated to the library the other day, packing their shoes in their bags so they could get some books and roller skate home. And they have spent hours and hours skating in the basement since this past weekend when we got them. I am SO delighted that my girls get to use these skates and make their own memories.
I would love to hear some other memories of childhood.
And, when I think back on my childhood there was definitely a good couple of years where it would have been difficult to tell if my feet were actually feet or in fact roller skates. Because, I lived in roller skates. I think it was probably the years of kindergarten and first grade, although now that I have a first and fourth grader I cannot believe my mom let me just roller skate around the neighborhood unsupervised, but we did. We lived for roller skating. We helped the mailman with his mail route, although we were not allowed to touch the mail or even the mail cart, I think we might have gotten away with the mail cart every once in a while, pushing it to the next house. We roller skated from the moment we woke up, until we went to bed. Frequently eating our dinner in roller skates or wearing them in the car while my mom went through the drive through. We roller skated on sidewalks, in driveways and even in the basement when it was too cold or rainy. I have this clear memory of my sister and best friend, roller skating down the road with our long brown hair, attempting to convince the mail man that we were in fact triplets. Years later all that practice helped us at the roller rink when we had to skate backwards for the slow skate or do the limbo for prizes. But my fondest memories are the spring and fall days when it was not too hot, roller skating with my sister and dear friend.
So... imagine my delight as my girls discovered my old roller skates while visiting their grandma's house a few weeks back. My old red, white and blue roller skates, still in pretty good condition. They roller skated to the library the other day, packing their shoes in their bags so they could get some books and roller skate home. And they have spent hours and hours skating in the basement since this past weekend when we got them. I am SO delighted that my girls get to use these skates and make their own memories.
I would love to hear some other memories of childhood.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
A Recipe
We have maybe watched too many of those documentaries like Forks over Knives. We eat no where near enough fruits and vegetables. And with the onset of Lent, we have decided to go Vegan for the next few weeks. This has included quite a bit of research and thankfully for Pinterest I have been able to find quite a few recipes. One of my favorites right now is a quinoa salad. I got the recipe off Pinterest which linked to this blog Eating for England. I have tweaked it just a little, mostly because I like it as simple as possible otherwise I will not make it and some because I often go from memory and left out a few of the ingredients on accident, so this is my version of the quinoa salad...
Quinoa Salad
1 bag of quinoa (I use this quick bag kind, I like the garlic flavor)
1/2 pint of cherry tomatoes cut in half
1/2 red onion
1 avocado
1 can black beans
Dressing
1T olive oil
1t minced garlic
1 lime juiced
Cook the quinoa according to directions, while it is cooking cut tomatoes in half, chop onion, slice up avocado. I put this in a large Tupperware (so I can put it in the refrigerator and eat it through the week). I then mix the Olive oil, garlic and juice from the lime in a small glass bowl, and pour it over the tomato/onion/avocado mix. When the quinoa is done cooking, add the can of black beans to the quinoa to let it cook up the beans a bit. Then add the quinoa bean mix to the tomato/onion/avocado and mix. I eat it with tortilla chips-- the lime flavored ones are wonderful, and it lasts for 3-4 hearty lunches!
Quinoa Salad
1 bag of quinoa (I use this quick bag kind, I like the garlic flavor)
1/2 pint of cherry tomatoes cut in half
1/2 red onion
1 avocado
1 can black beans
Dressing
1T olive oil
1t minced garlic
1 lime juiced
Cook the quinoa according to directions, while it is cooking cut tomatoes in half, chop onion, slice up avocado. I put this in a large Tupperware (so I can put it in the refrigerator and eat it through the week). I then mix the Olive oil, garlic and juice from the lime in a small glass bowl, and pour it over the tomato/onion/avocado mix. When the quinoa is done cooking, add the can of black beans to the quinoa to let it cook up the beans a bit. Then add the quinoa bean mix to the tomato/onion/avocado and mix. I eat it with tortilla chips-- the lime flavored ones are wonderful, and it lasts for 3-4 hearty lunches!
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Overwhelmed
I have to say, I am COMPLETELY overwhelmed, with gratefulness!
I started thinking of writing this post several days ago, when I was brought to tears thinking about how amazing God's timing and faithfulness is. I maybe have mentioned on here a few times that we have been waiting on a job. And I even did not write on here, because the only thing I had in my head was, "we need a job, we do not have one." And honestly I was sick of my own thoughts so why share them with people who did not HAVE to listen. I have been a limping lump of anxiety for twelve months, worry over a job, worry that my foot would never heal, worry over a job, worry about paying bills, worry over a job. It was the tape running through my mind. My husband and I wanted to be faithful in the midst of this time of waiting, to come out like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, not even smelling like the fiery trial we had just been through. Especially since the fire was not even that hot. But most people who have spent more than 5 minutes with me this past year know exactly all the troubles I've seen.
But the amazing part is that even though I am smelling pretty smokey, God was still faithful. See, we were supposed to not have a job this year. My husband was told last January (a year ago) that they were not renewing his contract for the coming year. This sent us into a definite panic mode. My husband plead his case to the administration and was granted a year to find a job. I do not know if I knew at the time what a gift that was, but we were given a WHOLE year to find a job. They told us in May that we would have this year, our contract expired in June. A big relief. So this year we have spent looking for a job. And he got one, a good one, a one at a place we hope will be a blessing to our family and where he can be a blessing to the school. AND the job starts this summer. When we moved here, we bought our first home and were grateful recipients of the "first time home buyer credit" which meant the government gave us a gift of $8000.00 with just the side note that we had to stay in our house for 3 years. Guess what?!?! July 9th of THIS year, not last, but this year our 3 years will be up. Our contract here ends June 31st and our new one starts August 1st, meaning, we will be moving right around July. We probably could not have planned the timing more perfectly if we tried. And, I would honestly have liked this tied neatly in a bow a year ago, to have saved me from all the worry and questioning, but now looking back I am certain this year has brought my family closer as we waited together, praying. I also am certain that this bow is not so neatly tied up yet. There are still a lot of loose ends.... and we continue to wait and pray, but overwhelmed with gratefulness.
I started thinking of writing this post several days ago, when I was brought to tears thinking about how amazing God's timing and faithfulness is. I maybe have mentioned on here a few times that we have been waiting on a job. And I even did not write on here, because the only thing I had in my head was, "we need a job, we do not have one." And honestly I was sick of my own thoughts so why share them with people who did not HAVE to listen. I have been a limping lump of anxiety for twelve months, worry over a job, worry that my foot would never heal, worry over a job, worry about paying bills, worry over a job. It was the tape running through my mind. My husband and I wanted to be faithful in the midst of this time of waiting, to come out like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, not even smelling like the fiery trial we had just been through. Especially since the fire was not even that hot. But most people who have spent more than 5 minutes with me this past year know exactly all the troubles I've seen.
But the amazing part is that even though I am smelling pretty smokey, God was still faithful. See, we were supposed to not have a job this year. My husband was told last January (a year ago) that they were not renewing his contract for the coming year. This sent us into a definite panic mode. My husband plead his case to the administration and was granted a year to find a job. I do not know if I knew at the time what a gift that was, but we were given a WHOLE year to find a job. They told us in May that we would have this year, our contract expired in June. A big relief. So this year we have spent looking for a job. And he got one, a good one, a one at a place we hope will be a blessing to our family and where he can be a blessing to the school. AND the job starts this summer. When we moved here, we bought our first home and were grateful recipients of the "first time home buyer credit" which meant the government gave us a gift of $8000.00 with just the side note that we had to stay in our house for 3 years. Guess what?!?! July 9th of THIS year, not last, but this year our 3 years will be up. Our contract here ends June 31st and our new one starts August 1st, meaning, we will be moving right around July. We probably could not have planned the timing more perfectly if we tried. And, I would honestly have liked this tied neatly in a bow a year ago, to have saved me from all the worry and questioning, but now looking back I am certain this year has brought my family closer as we waited together, praying. I also am certain that this bow is not so neatly tied up yet. There are still a lot of loose ends.... and we continue to wait and pray, but overwhelmed with gratefulness.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
The Jacobs are moving to ARKANSAS!!!!
It has been a roller coaster of a week. I have hesitated to even write this post because I do not know if I can write in words all that has happened. Well, I can write pretty easily what has happened. It is the little things, the emotions, the little events leading up to the week, the thoughts and the questions all combined to make this a week that seemed to last a year.
I will just say the easy thing... WE GOT A JOB!!! Well, technically, my husband got a job. But, when your main breadwinner is soon to be unemployed we all celebrate with, "we got a job." And that job happens to be in Arkansas. So the Jacobs are headed to Arkansas. Which is CRAZY because I have barely visited the south, let alone thought we would live there. My one experience with Arkansas was a random trip there in college when a couple girlfriends and I decided to go backpacking in the Ozarks for a few days. I saw a wild pig with tusks and hair flying out behind it running across the trail. Later to find out it was a razorback. And now, I am moving to where they have razorbacks and armadillos? On a side note Karis is now studying Armadillos for science and soon will be our resident family expert on them.
It has been a year of waiting for this job. Of praying and asking God, why? And last week after I wrote my post my husband and I had come to some peace about not getting a job. About being obedient in one thing we feel like we have kind of been side stepping. We talked about maybe going a completely different direction in life. I was kind of excited about it. I am my husband's biggest fan. And I get excited when we get together on something.
SO when we got the "yes" of this job. It was this huge relief, but kind of anticlimactic as we had just made this whole other plan that was a lot less practical.
BUT we are thankful. We are thankful for a job when jobs are few and far between. We are thankful that God heard our prayers. I have been thinking this year, how thankful I am when God answers with a "yes" to our prayers, especially when my kids are praying with me. I know that the answer is not always "yes" and this year it has been a lot of "wait" and "not now" and sometimes just silence. So when the answer to our prayer finally came,and it was a job, I was very thankful. And not just us, but another guy got the job. Our prayer had been for these other people we were competing with for this job, that God would provide a job because we know how awful it is to be in this situation. And that is just what happened. The school decided to offer my husband and this other man a job. How amazing is that!!!
The more I have thought on it, especially while shoveling snow this morning knowing that yesterday it was 75 degrees in Arkansas, the more excited I become. But there are mixes of emotions. We will be leaving some REALLY great friends, a WONDERFUL church and closeness to family. And then there is the minor thing of selling the first house we have ever owned. I am trying not to go on too much. There are so many ways we can see God has worked over the past year. Often in silence, and we are waiting and anticipating our new adventure in Arkansas.
Now.... to figure out how to get our house ready, sell it and find a place to live over the next 4 months.
I will just say the easy thing... WE GOT A JOB!!! Well, technically, my husband got a job. But, when your main breadwinner is soon to be unemployed we all celebrate with, "we got a job." And that job happens to be in Arkansas. So the Jacobs are headed to Arkansas. Which is CRAZY because I have barely visited the south, let alone thought we would live there. My one experience with Arkansas was a random trip there in college when a couple girlfriends and I decided to go backpacking in the Ozarks for a few days. I saw a wild pig with tusks and hair flying out behind it running across the trail. Later to find out it was a razorback. And now, I am moving to where they have razorbacks and armadillos? On a side note Karis is now studying Armadillos for science and soon will be our resident family expert on them.
It has been a year of waiting for this job. Of praying and asking God, why? And last week after I wrote my post my husband and I had come to some peace about not getting a job. About being obedient in one thing we feel like we have kind of been side stepping. We talked about maybe going a completely different direction in life. I was kind of excited about it. I am my husband's biggest fan. And I get excited when we get together on something.
SO when we got the "yes" of this job. It was this huge relief, but kind of anticlimactic as we had just made this whole other plan that was a lot less practical.
BUT we are thankful. We are thankful for a job when jobs are few and far between. We are thankful that God heard our prayers. I have been thinking this year, how thankful I am when God answers with a "yes" to our prayers, especially when my kids are praying with me. I know that the answer is not always "yes" and this year it has been a lot of "wait" and "not now" and sometimes just silence. So when the answer to our prayer finally came,and it was a job, I was very thankful. And not just us, but another guy got the job. Our prayer had been for these other people we were competing with for this job, that God would provide a job because we know how awful it is to be in this situation. And that is just what happened. The school decided to offer my husband and this other man a job. How amazing is that!!!
The more I have thought on it, especially while shoveling snow this morning knowing that yesterday it was 75 degrees in Arkansas, the more excited I become. But there are mixes of emotions. We will be leaving some REALLY great friends, a WONDERFUL church and closeness to family. And then there is the minor thing of selling the first house we have ever owned. I am trying not to go on too much. There are so many ways we can see God has worked over the past year. Often in silence, and we are waiting and anticipating our new adventure in Arkansas.
Now.... to figure out how to get our house ready, sell it and find a place to live over the next 4 months.
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