Happy 10th Birthday Karis Rose!

Today my sweet Karis turns 10!

Dear sweet Karis,

Ten years ago you made me a mom again! My sweet Valentine! You came into this world a week early, already doing things on your terms. You have challenged me every day of your life, stretching me to become a better person. Motherhood has a way of doing that, but especially when you are mothering a child so much like yourself. I have learned this year how much like me you are. I see all your struggles and feel them so much because I know exactly how it feels. I know what it is like to want to find out who you are, and have no idea how to do that or figure out who that is. And just to love so much and want to be loved. Your heart is beautiful.

This year you have faced all the changes of our family with grace and a few tears. But mostly just words of encouragement. Encouraging me and letting me know you were okay. You have embraced your new brother with kindness and compassion. You have in many ways found your place in our new home, but in others you are still finding it.

We moved to Kentucky, and you were SO EXCITED to be moving to the Horse Capital of the World. And then we went weeks without seeing a horse and you lamented. But we finally found some lessons. And you have ridden and you are really good at it. You are brave.You have courage to ask for things that I would not think of. You dream big. You have made friends. You love making movies with your siblings. And you love to help with the little kids at church. It is most Sundays that I find you holding a baby in one arm while eating lunch with the other in the basement at church. I love your heart. And I love your smile. You have become more beautiful with each year.

I am SO proud to be your mom. I love you Karis Rose!

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Bozhidar!

Today you turn 8! And we get to celebrate.

For the past week your sisters and brother have told you your birthday is coming. That you will get cake and macaroni and cheese and presents. They have said it so often now, that you get so excited! You clench your hands and shake squealing with delight that your birthday is COMING! And it is finally here. I have no idea if you know what it means. But you DO know that it is a day to celebrate.

There is some sadness in my heart thinking about your birth mom and all the birthdays she has missed. Does she think of you on this day? Does she wonder about you?

I wish I could tell her you are doing amazing!

I would tell her about today. Today you got the iPad. We found you in your bedroom making a movie by. your. self. It was a movie of you showing us your stuffed animals. You then shut the door got your toy computer, looked at the camera and said, "uh-uh." Which we all know means, do not touch this, it is mine! Then David comes bursting through the door and you start laughing hysterically.

And then I would tell her what happened at lunch today. Today, you went in the kitchen, picked out what you wanted, put it on the counter, got a bowl and a pan for me to cook it in and a spoon. When I came into the kitchen you pointed at it, the pan, the bowl and your mouth.

Last year I wrote this post. It was a "Happy Birthday." I missed you.

And this is the picture that we saw two years ago. The one where we said, "He is a Jacobs."

This was our first visit.... you were SO tiny!

I had NO IDEA then what this year would bring. I am kind of thankful. I could not have handled knowing that just in the middle of bringing you home my husband, your dad, would be diagnosed with cancer, we would lose our job and move to a whole different part of the country, and we would continue to wait to see if there is a job for next year. I did not know then, that my entire world would flip upside down and I would have to figure out how to be a good mom to you in the middle of it all.

But you have handled life with us, the unknown and change, every step, you have handled in stride. We have figured it out together, all of us. And you continue to learn and grow. You have amazed me. You make us laugh AND want to pull out our hair every day. You wrestle with your siblings and give them hugs and affection. Just like a brother should.

David says, "The BEST brother ever..."

Nine months ago, all I wanted was for you to learn to play. Now, you play so well. You cook and you pretend. If the kids are playing without you, you have to go find what they are doing. You never want to be left out.

You communicate without words, almost too well. My favorite is when you pretend to look at your watch to say you think it is time to go. I have NO idea where you got it from. None of us wear watches. But you do it. We understand. And it makes me smile every time. You understand everything we say. You are thankful and helpful.

Your laugh is irresistible.

Your favorite thing to do is to pray. And eat!

I am a better person because you are in my world. I am so happy we get to celebrate this birthday with you! You, my sweet boy, are a blessing!

And a  new haircut! Happy 8th Birthday Bozhi! We love you!

David Turns 7!

Today, my David turns seven! I cannot believe it has been seven years! He is one of my favorite people in the whole world. He is kind and gentle hearted. He is brave and strong. He makes everyone laugh. And if you could make joy into a person, I think it would look a whole lot like this boy!

Some of my favorite David memories include:

David telling his grandma how beautiful her hands are, I wrote the story here....

One of my favorite moments was a day when I was scared to get out of the car. We were visiting a farm and there were a couple of dogs surrounding our car. I was scared. I am unnaturally afraid of dogs after a couple of unfortunate run-ins with dogs on my runs. I had no idea what to do. David stood up and started walking toward the door, "I guess it is time to face my destiny." He declared. What a hero. I told him to sit down though and called the owner of the farm to see if they were friendly. He told me they were fine.

His sister has been known to say, "Have you spent time with this boy? You really should, he is so much fun."

He gets along with all of his siblings. And especially his new brother. He often tells Bozhi that he is "awesome" and that they are the best brothers ever!

The other day our family was going to stay home from church because we had a bit of a rubella scare that turned into absolutely nothing, but to keep our germs to ourselves we stayed home. David was in the clear though. So he was going to go with his daddy. But he did not want to, he likes going with his whole family.

His sisters are his best friends.

And his favorite song these days is "Chicken Fried" by Zach Brown Band.

I love this boy to the moon and back and so thankful I get to be his mom!

6 months....

Six Months ago tomorrow... I walked into the orphanage to hold our son and bring him home.

I am SO thankful this little boy is in our family. But every time he makes a milestone I am angry. Angry that for years "they" just said, "He can't" He can't gain weight, he can't talk, he needs help walking. Because he can do all those things. He is not talking yet, but he is making new sounds all the time. And even if Bozhi never speaks, he is learning to communicate. To talk through sign language. He now signs, "Thank You." "More." "Sorry." "All Done." "No" "Please" "Help" "Potty" "Eat" and his own signs, "Time to eat." and a choking sound that means I am thirsty. He says, "owie" and "hot" and we frequently hear him saying "ttttttt" He also is learning what cold weather feels like, whenever he steps outside in the cold he says, "BRRRRR..." and pulls his sleeves down to cover his hands. He sometimes rubs his hands together when he is cold too. Bozhidar has amazed me.

Last week, we visited a new bookstore. Somehow Bozhidar knew that he should ask for EVERYTHING! First, he got to ride on an escalator. He giggled the entire way down and kept trying to get back on. He then found a ball that he loved and picked it up and pointed to himself. He was asking me to buy it for him. I had a hard time saying "no." Has anyone just bought him what he wanted before? I put it back in the bin. I have five kids, I cannot buy them all what they want. He went and got the ball again. A blue one with stars. He hugged it and put it to his cheek. He loved that ball. I agreed to buy him the ball. The other kids understood. He asked for about twenty other things, but in the end the ball was what he really, really wanted.

He loves to help his dad make coffee in the morning. He empties the dishwasher and wipes the tables. He scrapes his plates into the garbage and loves to boss everyone around.

The other day Verity woke up and ran out of her bed, "Bozhidar! I am so glad you are my brother." A few days later she said "I hate having a little brother." It is not perfect. But it is a family.

And he weighs forty pounds. He has gained twenty pounds in six months. He has doubled his weight. He is four inches taller. And he needs new shoes AGAIN!

Superman for Halloween seems appropriate!

And I asked if I could take his picture... he would not do it without someone with him. First Karis

Then David, but he just wanted to kiss him and then tackle him. 

They are good brothers!

We went to an apple orchard yesterday.

and he reinacted Titanic...

and took over a pirate ship

He is a blessing. We are so thankful to have him in our family!

3 months...

Three months ago yesterday we picked up this tiny boy from his orphanage. He remembered me from five months ago when Nathan and I brought him bananas every day. He looked at me when he was told, "It's your mom!" And he signed "more." We had taught it to him five.months.ago.

You read all these books on parenting and adoption. Prepare for the hard times. Think you are ready and then you go and meet them to be yours forever. And the things that you thought would be hard are not that hard and the things you thought you could do are SO hard.

Bozhi, was so skinny, changing his diaper brought tears to my eyes. It was painful to look at him. We were told it was because he was disabled. Three months later, 12 pounds later and two inches taller, I think they were wrong. He has outgrown the first two pairs of shoes I have bought him.

I was prepared to not attach, to have him not attach to me. It is different with someone who cannot communicate. But since the day in the apartment in Sofia when he leaned over and unexpectedly kissed me, this boy has known, I am his mom. His affection is actually overwhelming at times. He wants all of my attention. He even knows when I am having a hard day and will put his hand on my face. He has empathy for others. When his brother got hurt the other day he kissed him and put his hand on his back to hug him. How does this child know that. He offers part of his food to others and loves to share his food, especially what he does not like.

He is still learning to play. He got very excited about legos this morning. But often just wants a job to do. Find some garbage to throw away or dishes to put away and he is on it. He knows where everything goes.

He remembers the names of people very quickly. If you ask him to bring something to so and so, he knows exactly what you are asking.

He understands almost everything I tell him and when he wants something he tells me. By getting his shoes (go somewhere); pointing at his mouth (eat); pointing at his diaper (I have to go potty... yes he is going potty several tiimes a day); hand on his head means he is tired; taking off all his clothes and going to the bathroom means give me a bath.

He loves the waterslide at the pool and anything wild. He hates just sitting at the pool. If he sits too long he goes and gets his clothes and puts them on.

Yesterday he picked out his own outfit and got himself dressed.

He is extremely opinionated. He will only wear shirts with collars and khaki pants/jeans or shorts. He will not wear sweatpants. We call him Mr. Handsome. It drives us all a little crazy.

He wants to get his drink HIMSELF. Which thirsty is signaled with a fake cough. But he cannot reach the sink, so he really wants you to lift him up so he can do it.

The other day he started clearing plates at the little cafe in town for other tables. Thankfully they were done and very accomadating.

He shakes hands with everyone he meets. But if someone gets too close or invades his space, he screams louder than anyone I know.

His brother had me write the other day, "David and Bozhi, best brothers ever." His sisters think he is the cutest thing ever and they help him as much as he lets them.

His laugh is contagious.

He is still sad if he is left behind and greets me with almost a run and arms up when I get home.

We start his therapy this week.

It has been three months. We are still finding routine. But most days I am kind of in awe at this little survivor, who is not so little anymore.

He is part of a crazy family that loves him.

Happy Birthday to Verity!

Tomorrow sweet Verity turns 4! We are headed to Chicago/Wisconsin for three weeks, and driving on her birthday. Thankful for friends that helped celebrate her a little tonight.

This girl has completely changed my world. Somehow being a mom I thought by number four I would have it all figured out. But each one is SO different. And she has thrown me into a whole new world of mom. She is a challenge and a joy. She is smart and thoughtful. She is determined and kind. She still does not sleep through the night, but I love seeing her face next to me in the morning. She has more energy than anyone I know. And she sees the world like no one I know. I am so thankful each day that I get to be her mom. I have put together a few quotes of hers from the past year....

Me: "Verity, where are your pants?" Verity, "They fell off when I was walking." Me, "And you just left them there?" Verity, "Yes."

Verity, "I am NOT afraid of the dark mom! Just get me a sword, I will get any monster that comes in here. Or zombie!"

Me, "Verity, sometimes I wish I could be just like you, you are so cute!" Verity, "I know AND I have crazy hair and I am really funny!"

Conversation with Verity last night, "Mom, I am not going to cry anymore. And I am going to listen to you and do what is right and say 'Yes, ma'am." Me, "Those are great ideas!" A few minutes later... Me, "Verity it is time to go to bed." Verity, "NO! I don't want to go to bed." me, Umm, do you remember what you just said you were going to do?" Verity, "Yes, I meant I would start that TOMORROW!"

"Mom, God did not make daddy's tattoos, daddy drew them. But God DID give me a tattoo, it is a flower right on my cheek."

Happy Birthday to my sweet, beautiful fun loving girl!

A Little Update

There have not been big updates these days. Summer is in full swing in the Jacobs household which means lots and lots of GO!

The two oldest girls have swim team practice four days each week. Karis continues horseback riding lessons once a week and Anya has been doing an acting camp... NOT to be mistaken with drama camp the past two weeks for four hours every afternoon. While she acts we swim at the pool.

Bozhidar and I spend a lot of time enjoying sun and watching the kids play.

until this girl comes a long and decides we should not be dry any longer....

But today, he decided to try the noodle. He put it under his arms as he had seen his sister do over and over and he kicked and laughed, choking on water from laughing so hard. We did it over and over, taking turns with Verity who would jump and swish back to the side. Then Bozhidar would lean forward and fall on the noodle floating as I zoomed him in circles. He is playing.

After the pool we headed home to change and go to the library. Bozhidar transfered a sign. He has signed "more" whenever he wanted to eat. But at the library as Anya brought him a book and he looked at the pictures, when he finished, he signed "more." Which to me meant he knows what it means. AND that I really need to learn some more sign language.

We all went to check out at the front desk. We have a bit of an absurd library system in our small little town. Each family member has their own card and that card can check out six books. So, it takes a long time to figure out which card has room for more books and balance which books go on which card. I kind of just wish I could just have 42 books for my family and not keep track of which one is on which card. But just a little aside to explain why it took so long to check out at the front desk. Bozhidar had squirmed out of my arms and was walking down the length of the front counter. The next thing I knew, he was behind the librarian desk ready to help in any way he could.

Bozhi, is learning that he can explore the world. He will go to different rooms in the house and does not wait for someone to move him here or there. He chooses to walk more than crawl. And the pants that he wore most of the time we were in Bulgaria, the ones we had to role up three inches to keep over his shoes, those pants, do not role up at all anymore, they just stop at the top of his shoes. And the shoes, the new ones I bought, his toes reach the end. He is growing.

But the day which was another marathon of a day was full of lots of good. And a little bad. The running got run, which always makes for a good day. The lawn got mowed, laundry got done and dishes got washed, and dishes got dirtied and more dishes got washed. I was ahead of the game planning for dinner, a delicious dinner in the crockpot. But somehow in the making of lunch, the crockpot got unplugged and four hours later it was discovered. So takeout was gotten.

And the greatest good, was the little almost four year old with more energy than I ever know what to do with, fell asleep on the couch. She has been saying for weeks that she is tired, but you would never guess it by the go she has, the run and the energy. But she collapsed at 6:15 before dinner or milk or anything and she is finally sleeping.

Lots of good and blessing!