The Biggest Lie We Believe....

This post has been sitting in my head for months. I have tried desperately to put into words these thoughts, and I am not sure I know the best way to do it. But I think it is worth saying.

I am generalizing, not speaking to anyone in particular, except maybe myself. And I am aware that this does not apply to everyone. But, I believe that a lot of us are believing this lie, "Doing nothing is better than doing something." And Satan is celebrating.

Throughout this adoption process, we have faced many skeptics, people who have told us that adoption is not the answer. There needs to be reform in orphanages; children should not be taken out of their own countries; and families are being tricked into giving their children up for adoption. All the people that have said these things have meant well and believe what they are saying is right and true. And I believe that some of it is true as well. But there is a fear that adoption will cause things to happen that should never happen and will prevent things from happening that should happen.

Not every child in every orphanage has been stolen from their families. Not adopting will neither help these children nor prevent children from flooding orphanages. Also there is an idea that if we adopt, no one will reform orphanages. I believe the opposite is actually the case. The more people are aware of what is happening in orphanages, through adoption, the more likely people will DO something to change the orphanages.

I do not know the best answer. But I do know that if we do nothing, it will fix nothing. I know there will be kids that will spend the rest of their lives in cribs without a family. I know that if you said those things as an excuse to not act, you are wrong. I know there is no easy answer, but doing nothing out of fear of doing something wrong, cannot be the answer.

There are stories about children on the street in India begging for food. If you see them I have heard you are not supposed to give them food because they are only getting it to bring back to someone who is beating them or selling them or using them. I am simplifying this. And I do not mean to be trite. There are horrible, unimaginable things happening to children around this world, children on the street with no one to protect them. But not giving a child food when they are hungry seems wrong. There is no easy solution but again, I feel like we live in fear that doing something is going to cause harm and end up doing nothing, we walk by, telling ourselves that we are really helping them because I am saving them from this thing I heard happens. And they are STILL starving.

But we are to help the least of these. And these conversations play in my head. And I tell myself something has to be better than nothing.

And the man on the corner asking for food or money. We drive by because we are sure they will use it for drugs. And we do not have the McDonald's gift card we usually carry and we would not dare give cash because what would they use it for? So we drive by and do nothing, because we fear doing something is worse than doing nothing.

And I do not know the best solution. But I think when the least of these were described in the Bible, when we were told to care for them, it was not with an asterick or footnote stating when caring for the least of these should not be our priority. Principles and theories and things we have heard should not stop us from acting. Fear comes in and lies fill my head. And I do not act because I am afraid that doing something is worse than doing nothing.

And I am wrong.

All of this I say knowing there is a lot that needs to be done. And yes, we should fight for parents to keep their children. We should not promote child trafficking or child exploitation. But this should not paralyze us from acting.

We should be wise. We should be overly gracious.

We should do something.

Waiting and Praying and Celebrating with Hope!

I have been overwhelmed! I wrote a week and half ago about our waiting and waiting. And a few weeks ago I wrote about the cost of adoption. And we asked for prayer. As a Christian, I absolutely believe prayer makes a difference, but so often it is my last resort. And then God answers prayers and I am reminded how this should be my first resort.

First I want to share a perspective that I find amazing. A friend of mine has been going through the adoption process. He and his wife were one of the families adopting from Russia when the government shut down all adoptions and their story is again not one for me to share, but a story of lots of hope and disappointment. Moments with a lot of "why's." Two times the children they planned to adopt or host were adopted elsewhere. But my their mom said something to the effect of, "But look at how many people these two girls have had praying for them." Things did not turn out as planned, but these two girls may have never been prayed for. Wow! Thousands of people praying for these two little girls that were nobody's. Faces in seas of faces. An orphan without a voice or a person to be their voice. This couple was their voice for prayer. And what a change that will make in their lives in the long run. They were covered with prayers from thousands. And I believe THAT will make a difference.

So please keep praying for these children without voices!

And prayer works. These requests for prayers that we made, God has shown up so big. We got our final homestudy approval last week, and received the notarized copies yesterday. I-800a application was sent off today, and the rest is being sent to be notarized this week. We still need prayer that this takes on the shorter side of things, but I am waiting and praying and celebrating, with hope!

AND did you see the little thing on the side of our blog that says how much support we have raised? If you have been keeping track, you will notice that it has almost doubled. Our church has been amazingly generous. We have been humbled to be part of a church that lives out their faith in loving orphans, in particular our Hamilton. But also in just helping those in need. They seem to give with faith, seeking wisdom, but knowing that God will continue to provide. And we are humbled and thankful and without words.

So keep praying for the paperwork and for Hamilton. God is working and hearing these prayers!

Thank you!!!

We are so Thankful!

It is amazing and overwhelming each time I check my e-mail and see "you have a donation." Often the names are dear friends or family, but sometimes the names are unfamiliar - people I have never heard of or met. These people just feel called to help in adoption. To all who have given little and much, we are SO thankful!

I often think of Hamilton who has been in an orphanage his whole life. He has never been someone's whole world. Children tend to be a mom and dad's whole world when they come into this world. Usually our lives are completely changed as we adjust sleep and feeding and the quiet way we move around the house in an effort to not wake the baby. We think about everything that will affect this little life. I am excited that one day Hamilton will get to be our family's whole world while we love him the best way we know how and work to meet his needs.

But as for all those years he has not been someone's whole world, we can tell him about all the people that worked to bring him to a family. We can let him know how precious and valuable he is. And the quilt we are making will be a constant reminder.

So, just a quick update. Over the past week we have raised $734.00 toward Hamilton's adoption. We have had fourteen people give little to lots. It is amazing how $1, $5, $20 and more adds up. We have one more day with Give1Save1, so if you want to donate $1 or more, we would love for you to join us in supporting the efforts to bring Hamilton home.

A Chance for the Church to BE the Church!

Adoption is at the very heart of God. Nathan has often said, "This thing, this adopting Hamiton, is not something I have wondered about." There are those moments in our life when we wonder if we are doing what God wants or wonder what God's will is. This is not a wonder moment. This one we know is God's will. It is not like what job to take or where to live; this one is not a question. God is in adoption; God loves orphans; and we are told to care for orphans.

James 1:27, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this to look after orphans and widows in their distress..."

Not everyone can adopt. Not everyone is called to adopt. But all Christians are called to help orphans and widows. The further we get into this process, the more convinced I am that this is a way for the Church to be the hands and feet of Christ.

At risk of being too forward, I am going to just say this. As the Church, we often take a stand on an issue such as "pro-life"; we fight against funding for Planned Parenthood and vote on election for politicians that will vote against abortion. But I have not seen the Church as vocal about adoption. Now that I am in the adoption process, I see that there are families across this country adopting and fostering children from the U.S. and overseas. But it is often done quietly, and often done without much support because they are doing it on their own. These families are spending thousands of dollars working tirelessly to serve those we are all called to serve. And this is where the Church gets to be the Church. There are people in the Church that can help. Maybe they are not called to adopt, but they can help with the cost of adoption. They can give these families financial support in this very costly process. Or maybe they do not have money but they have a skill. Maybe they make jewelry or are amazing bakers, and they too can help by using these gifts to help raise funds. Maybe they do not have a skill or money but they have time - time to watch children already at home while parents who are adopting go to training sessions, fill out hours of paperwork, or go to home study interviews. Maybe they can donate supplies or beds or furniture to families adopting or doing foster care. This is a chance for the people in the Church to be Christ to the "least of these;" to work together to love those who do not have people to care for them. Orphans need the Church because without the resources of the Church, they will wait, possibly forever, without families or homes.

This is a chance for the Church to be different. Again, at the risk of being too confrontational, I am going to say this. Today, the churches I see spend thousands and thousands of dollars on good sound systems and lighting and blow up slides for the kids' "playland." There is money spent on advertising and entertainment that will draw people in, but I think what might draw people in is if they see us being different than the world. Yes, lights and music, might draw people, might make them come for some entertainment, but soon it will wear off because it is no different than what the world offers. They are entertained until it is not enough, and then there needs to be bigger music and more lights and perhaps ziplines across the foyer, Will that bring them and keep them? I do not think it will, but what if a Church had an old sound system, but they helped a family get by for a year after they lost their job? What if the Church went without the fancy lights and instead helped four families adopt children from around the world? 

I am so thankful for a Church that cares for orphans and single moms. In the past eight months we have been there, we have seen our Church give, without hesitation, toward our adoption and to a single mom of three in need of a home. It is a small Church that believes in using what God has given to be the hands and feet of Christ. They put off the extras, and use what they have for those in need. And in the months I have been there, I have seen that Church grow. And I think it is because that Church is different. It stands out in a world that is tired and in need.

Adoption is a chance for the Church to be the Church. And it is a chance for the world to see that Christians really are different. 

Answering some "why's"

There are two questions we have been asked most frequently since we started this adoption journey. The first is more of a statement, that I take as a question,
"Well, there are so many kids in need right here and it is much more affordable, so if we decide to adopt, we will probably do it through the foster system."
I get this statement, because I have said it to many people before. I never in a million years thought we would adopt from overseas, if anything because of the cost of adopting from another country. And because I know, there are kids right here that need homes. I cannot explain then why Hamilton, why this little boy. But what I can say, is if you have ever had a moment when God is working, and you have to obey, then that is what this is.
Over and over, I have heard God say in His quiet voice,
 "This is my child! He is MINE, he is precious, and I love him, and I am doing this." "This has nothing to do with you, I am going to do this, but I want you to do this with me." "Get on your knees and trust me, because this ONE is mine."
It is not about me.
It is not about my family.
This is about a little boy, that God loves, that this world could so easily forget because he is one of so many. It brings tears to my eyes, every time I think of how great His love is.
God cares for this little boy, He cares for all these kids waiting for homes, waiting for families, He is close to the brokenhearted. And He loves Hamilton.
It has been the reason I have not worried, when the money kind of stalls, because every time we have needed it, God has provided above and beyond.
This is His thing, not mine.

The other question,
"What are his special needs? Really? And you are okay with that? That maybe you will have to care for him for the rest of his life?"
Again, I totally get this question, and five years ago maybe I would have said no way. I have already committed my life to raising these blessings God has given me, and even made this crazy decision to homeschool them, but when they move out, I will finally have freedom!
But then I realized that my life is not any greater than this little boys, then any of these little children that did not choose a disability for life. I realize that I could have given birth to a child with any special need, and I would have never said, no, I do not want them, I may not want the disability or the difficulty but I would always want them. My life is not greater than his.
And this world is short, there is so much to look forward to beyond this life, this time here, now, it will be like a moment in my time of times, so if Hamilton needs a mom and dad to take care of him for the rest of his life, then it is what we do. I am sure it will be hard, but keeping my eyes set on eternity makes it doable, I think.

So, for everyone with those questions that is my "why" My why him, and why a child with special needs. I do not live in a dream world that this will be some amazing thing, but I do believe that this is a God thing and that this boy is His, that God has a plan for Hamilton, and if we can be part of that we are going to do it.

Paperwork, a Quilt, a Fundraiser, and THANK YOU!

I feel a HUGE sense of relief as we finished a stack of paperwork. Paperwork that involves twenty-one pages of questions for Nathan and me each. Questions asking about everything from how we discipline to who our favorite teacher was growing up. It is amazing the amount of information they need to see if we are fit to adopt this little boy. Information that no one requested before we had any children of our own. We finished it all. We requested letters from doctors and transcripts; we were fingerprinted and have gotten passports. It has taken hours of work, and we are only at the beginning.

We have been so blessed by friends, acquaintances and family that have helped so far. Over the past two months, we have had people give over six thousand dollars toward our efforts to bring Hamilton home. We have a long ways to go, though.

One of the fundraisers we are starting is a quilt fundraiser. I am working with a friend to make a signature quilt. For each person who donates $10 or more, we will sign your name on the quilt. We think this will be great "welcome home" present for this little man. Every night, he will go to bed covered in a warm blanket that reminds him of the many people who helped rescue him and give him a safe and loving home.

There are lots of people who have already given more than ten dollars. We will put their names on the quilt, but we would love to put lots more. This quilt will have all the names of people who have worked together to bring Hamilton home. Ten dollars is not a lot, but if only three thousand people gave ten dollars, or fifteen hundred people gave twenty, we would have our goal. A lot of people giving a little can make a REALLY big difference in the life of one person.

We are so thankful for all who have prayed and helped so far! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

I am not going to change the world...

I am not going to change the whole world or fix all the problems of all children. 

But maybe I am going to change the whole world for this one child.

Maybe I can do that. 

I hear a voice in my head frequently, "How can you just pick him? There are so many kids right here that need homes and families. There are children all around the world that are hungry and sick, children that do not have warm clothes and live on the street or have been sold into slavery." It's true. It happens and it breaks my heart. Sometimes I think it is just too much. 

How can I even try to make a difference because one person is not going to change the whole world. 

But, one person can maybe change the whole world for one child.

Is that enough? I do not know. But there are people changing the world for one person or two people or more. People who are being brave and stepping out of their comfortable worlds to actually make a change in the world of someone. People like Katie who, at the age of 22, has adopted 13 daughters. She is living out what Christ has called us to do. She may not feel brave, but taking steps of faith take courage. Or people like Lee Jong rak who built a dropbox because he knows life is precious, and he could not stand by and say it is too much. 

There are people adopting ten or twelve children with special needs. Children that the world has said are worthless. Children that are PRECIOUS to God. Children that need a family to love them.

Matthew 25:40 "The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you,whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."

"ONE of the least of these..." 

We are not going to change the whole world. I cannot change the world by myself. But maybe I can change the world for this one child.

A video worth watching...

Home

Five Minute Friday is when you spend five minutes writing on a word (Lisa Jo Baker gives a word each Friday) and lots of people write their thoughts on that one word. The Rules are... you write for five minutes without editing, and then publish it. And then you absolutely comment on the person before you who wrote.  So here is today's...

Home

Start
Talking last night, we share the hopes for our children, the ones we dream about with faces that are clear. Our hearts long to hold them, but we know it could be a year or more before they are held. And we hope maybe just months. We talk about home. I realize as I speak, that my little boy, the one I dream about at night, may not even know what a home is. He may not know what a mom is. Is that possible? Does he not know what he is missing or even know that a home is normal. And my heart aches more, and fear creeps in just a little wondering if he will want me as much as I want him. I know it will be a struggle and home will become a new home as faces change and life changes. But home is where my family is. Years of moving and life changes, I have always known that home is where they are, the ones I love. And I cannot wait to share with him what home is, to make our home his home.
"I wish he was here now," David says.
"Me too," we all whisper.
Watching over and over the few minutes of video we have, wondering, praying for this child. The one we want to bring home.
I know they want him as much as I do.
We want him to know home.
I am thankful for a home, for a family to love and cherish, to laugh and hold.
Stop

Why are we Adopting?

Why are we adopting?
I always wanted to adopt. In my little world of dreams as a kid I was going to be successful, independent and a mother to children who needed one. But, I was not getting married.
Then I met Nathan. We met and were married a year and a half later. We married knowing little about what the future held. We did not discuss children or careers or much of anything. We were young and in love, and not much else mattered to us. We never discussed our own children, having any or how many, but did both agree one day... we wanted to adopt.
We believe in life, in choosing life, and each life is sacred.
And, we have been BLESSED with four wonderful children. I am so thankful for the gift of our children, but also aware that there are children still in need of families and homes.
Adoption never left my mind.
I always imagined we would adopt a child out of the foster system because there is such a huge need, and it does not usually cost tens of thousands of dollars. It just made sense. We would wait until our youngest was five or so and then start doing foster care. I was sure this was the plan for us. I remember even last year talking to a friend who adopted a little girl from Ethiopia about adoption, and sharing our plan. She told me she had a plan too, but God's plans are not always our plans. I was still sure that our family being what it was, already six people with a not very high paying job. Maybe we would not adopt, maybe we would be a home for foster kids, and love on them while we could. It is such a selfless life. I know quite a few families that do foster, and I admire their courage and their love. I wanted to be like them.
But then...
Someone posted on Facebook about a friend who had adopted from Eastern Europe. I read the blog because I almost always read anything about adoption, but also because the blog's title had my youngest's name in it, Verity, I never hear anyone with the name, so I read it, curious. And I wept. I asked Nathan to read it. He read it and walked in, in a matter of fact voice and said, "Hamilton, we need to adopt Hamilton." My heart broke all over for so many reasons, because I had loved him from the minute I saw him, this little boy, and because my husband was on the same page, not calling me crazy.
There were so many obstacles in the way. We were moving to a new state, starting a new job, life was about to change. Was this the time? We waited for months. But life started to settle, and I started to wonder if he was still waiting. So, I emailed, just to check, did he have a family yet? No, he is still waiting.
Sometimes when we go places or are just sitting as a family my husband says that he feels like we are missing someone.
There is room in our family for more.
There are so many children waiting for homes, so many children that need a mom and dad to love them, so many children that have been cast aside, it BREAKS my heart.
And he needs a home, and a family. It is as simple as that I think, that is why we are adopting, because this little boy needs a home and a family. And we would love for him to be in our family.

Interruptions

Life is full of interruptions. The moment when things seem to be going smoothly, maybe even falling into place, out of nowhere it changes. Something unexpected happens or comes along and I have to choose what I am going to do.

Twice today I heard the word, "interruption."

I heard it this morning in one of those moments where you feel your face grow hot. I watched a video that asked, "Have you ever been in one of those situations where you thought there was no one else in the room, like the person is talking to just you?" I listened as she talked about following God when things do not go exactly as planned, when life is interrupted.

Then I read what Ann Voskamp wrote on "A Holy Experience" today:

   

  "When you named Him Lord, you gave Him right to your life on His time: Every interruption is a new work order from God."

I just said a few weeks ago to myself that "life" seemed to be falling into place. Life was settling down, not perfectly, but school was back in routine; friends have been established; we are aware that we are blessed. We are thankful for our blessing.

But then, two weeks ago, the stirring began again. The need to move to keep going and walking in faith. To not get too comfortable in the day to day. And the little boy I read about eight months ago kept coming to mind. I thought maybe I would just see if he was still available to adopt. He was. No one wanted him. But I did. I do. We do. We want him.

I had a dream about him two nights ago. I approach him to pick him up. He had something covering his face. I lifted it it up. And he smiled the biggest smile. I woke up overwhelmed again with love.

Interruptions do not always make sense.
To the world sometimes it will look foolish.

This adoption thing is something God has grown in my heart for years. I always wanted to adopt. But I continue to doubt, to question if now is the right time, or if we are the right people. I always come up with a reason why today is not the day - a reason to wait.

And why? Maybe we are not the ones to do it. We have four children already. There are plenty of people that want just one child. I should adopt locally, I ALWAYS thought that was what I should do. And we should wait until life is less messy.

But, God's timing and ways are perfect, and now is the time that He is moving.

I am linking up to A Holy Experience

Steps of Faith

Sometimes saying it out loud is the scariest part. The, I am stepping out in faith, first couple of steps are the scariest. If I fail my little part of the world will know. But if I do not say it out loud, it will never happen. So, this post is a scary one and an exciting one to write. I am going to just come out and say it. We are starting the adoption process.

There is a little boy in Eastern Europe named "Hamilton" that we have fallen in love with. He is five, soon to be six, years old with some special needs. I have written a couple of times on this blog. Here is one about what breaks a mom's heart. What breaks my heart? Children that live in homes with no one to hold them. Hamilton is the person I thought of while I wrote that post. I do not know all the situations that go on in orphanages, and I know there are lots of good people who work with orphans, but I also know there are lots of kids in need.

Several months ago, I read this blog. I do not want to speak poorly or improperly about situations I do not know everything about. And I do not know Hamilton's whole story, but these stories broke my heart, and I could not close my eyes to the need. This little boy broke my heart. I could not hold my children without thinking about all these kids that need a mom to hold them.

And I am a believer in LIFE. I believe that all life is precious. I think Hamilton deserves a chance. I think we (my family) can give him a family that loves him. We told our children. We showed them this video:

And then we told them about Hamilton. They said, "We want him! We want him to be in our family!"

We told them it takes time and costs money. They said, "We will sell lemonade, have garage sales, run races, raise money however we can." Karis is giving all her birthday money to the cause. They started praying for him. They love him already. They know life will change, and they probably don't know how, but they are excited. We are too.

We are just starting the process; we are filling out the paperwork to put "Hamilton" on hold. Then there are home studies and paperwork and dossiers and more paperwork. It is a lot of work. We will need to do quite a bit of fundraising as this process costs thousands and thousands of dollars. We are putting a donate button on this blog to donate to "Hamilton's adoption fund." If you want to help with the cost, we would so appreciate it. But we also more than anything need prayers as this seems like something God alone can accomplish. Please let me know if you have any questions. We are excited to start this process and will keep you updated along the way on this blog.