This is a repost of a blog I wrote on patience over a year ago. Back before we had started this adoption process, before I think I ever knew what it meant to really wait patiently. I remembered writing these words while cleaning bathrooms, and it resonated so much with where I am at today... I thought I would repost it....
Waiting ... standing still.
Patience ... enduring.
I wait for people to change, for circumstances to change, for something to change, but sometimes it does not - or, at least, not when or how I want it to. And waiting is not enough. I need to practice patience - to keep walking, to keep moving, to keep going and to endure. For there is still life to live. I must endure until I know where I will go next. My feet are moving forward but I am standing still - enduring until I see where I am to go.
And I practice patience - whispering prayers under my breath, waiting with movement.
And I practice patience - washing dishes, doing laundry, picking up toys. I wait with movement.
And I practice patience.
I am tired and I really want to stop spinning in circles, waiting with movement. But the movement is not always graceful. The movement is rarely beautiful. It is often marked with tears and stumbles, but it is changing. Because I know that "tribulation works patience: and patience experience; and experience hope, and hope makes not ashamed because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who is given unto us." (Romans 5:3-5KJV)
And I am changing because there is work in the patience; movement that is happening within as I am enduring without; work that is producing experience and HOPE.
And I practice....patience...waiting with movement.