Sunday, October 13, 2013

The Waiting Child

The waiting is the hardest. I wrote it last week, and this week we had a light in the waiting, a "next big step." I was reading about the different types of adoption the other day. And one stood out, the "waiting child" adoption. It is the kind of adoption we are doing, but the NAME had not struck me until last night. Because for all my waiting, they wait more. They might not have a "light" in their waiting. They might wait their whole life.

The "waiting child" adoption is different than traditional adoption. In traditional adoption, in most countries, you put in a list of things you are willing to accept. You put in age/gender/disabilities, etc. Often people going through traditional adoption are looking for a specific type of child and usually a younger child. I am generalizing here, if there is anything true all the time about adoption is nothing is always the same. The people going through traditional adoption often have to wait years. The country we are adopting from it is about a three year wait. That is good because apparently the country where we are adopting has a high adoption rate. The generally healthy kids are adopted pretty quickly by people in their own country, so if you are waiting for a relatively healthy child under three, you could wait years or it may not happen, these kids are wanted! 

But the kids on the "waiting child" list, they are the ones that much of the world has turned its back on. They are the older kids, the ones that have special needs. Some of these needs are small, some big, most bigger than they would be because of institutions. Some countries, including the one we are adopting from are moving to foster home type settings, and a lot of these kids are making improvements. Some children are blind, some born with heart defects or other physical defects, some have downs syndrome, some need a surgery that their country was not able to do. And they have suffered years of waiting. 

I know that two years ago... these were the children I did not want. I am ashamed to say it. I remember when my Anya was born and the first couple of years of her life, just loving her so much, but so looking forward to her going to school, the days would be MINE again. And then I had three more children, and I thought maybe those days would never be mine. And, we decided to homeschool, maybe for a few years? And those days seemed further away. Now, it is hard to imagine not homeschooling. Not that I love it every day but it is our life. And again those days, the ones I was clinging to, the ones that would help me to become me again instead of "just a mom," were getting further away. But I knew one day it would happen. I married young, and had kids right away, so we would have years to do those things....

And then Hamilton came along. I do not know the extent of his needs. But it is possible he will not be independent ever. It is possible he will be completely independent. But I need to know it is possible he will not be. Those days, the days that were MINE, the ones I had looked forward to for ten years that kept getting further away. They vanished. And my heart broke. Not for my days, but because this child, the one who is waiting for someone to be his family, matters. And all those days that were mine, I thought, do. not. matter. when there are children that need homes. Jesus said in Matthew: 
"The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."
These children, the ones that are waiting. They are the ones the world has turned away. And this world the ones with the days that are MINE is momentary, it is a blink in eternity. If you want to see some of these waiting children you can contact an agency, they have lists of children waiting, or you can go to and set up an account. There are hundereds of children waiting!

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