Wednesday, August 29, 2012

"Where is the me time Billy?!?!"

This is one of my favorite moments in the show "Friday Night Lights."
Disclaimer (there is one not so nice word in this clip)

My husband and I quote this all the time.  "Where's the me time Billy?"

I have been very blessed to have a husband who fully supports me and me time, he is generous enough to give it whenever I need it even if he has had a long day, because he really wants a happy wife. I am very thankful, and I want time for me. But I think sometimes this is something that gets in the way of letting me be who God wants me to be. The "well done good and faithful servant" as a mom might look like this: Completely empty, wiped on the floor, crawling to bed because I was poured out serving my family and my kids. And this does not always sound appealing to me, well honestly the whole "wiped out" "crawling to bed" rarely sounds appealing.

So I usually find some "me time" so I can maybe have some more "me time" when my kids go to bed. And it is possible that I am the guiltiest of all the moms I know. I know many moms that work all day, serving families and doing what they do, then put kids to bed and stay up late working. I am not one of those people. But I admire those people.

I somehow need a reward for everything, and I teach my kids it too. I need chocolate to get through the rough morning, with little sleep from a child up all night coughing and others taking advantage of the sleep deprived mom fighting, and doctor's visits that last two hours. Maybe we should get McDonald's, that will make today better. Or stop for coffee. I think I need wine tonight, after the day I had. Or maybe I need to go out and spend some time alone. I am by no means saying any of these things are bad. And I am not saying that I do not make these excuses two to three times a day.Excuses for reward. BUT I am saying that maybe just maybe this is what is causing me to be stuck. This is what is preventing me from actually living out the life God has called me to.

And as moms I think we really encourage this behavior in each other. We laugh and nod our heads in full agreement when we hear another mom's story about the fit their child threw. And we agree wholeheartedly that they need a break. And I write it on this blog, the need I have for a break, for someone to give me an excuse for a treat or reward. But what if I did not look for an excuse, what if I pushed through. I sat up and rocked all night, holding close the child who was coughing, I calmly put the fighting children in time out over and over again until they showed a hint of a heart that changed. A heart that maybe is also reflecting a change in her mother who did not scream back. What if I smiled politely at the doctor who had a really rough morning, overbooked with sick kids and gave some grace. What if then I went home and thanked God for an opportunity to love with God's love, to be different in this world? What if I thanked God for a chance to grow, a chance to become more Christ like? What if I did not just get by, but seized each opportunity. I think it would bless my children and me, if I did not settle for a "getting by" "reward due" life, if I set the standard a little higher and persevered when it got a little hard or a lot hard. If I lived a life that was a blessing because I gave all I had to give.


2 comments:

  1. "But what if I did not look for an excuse, what if I pushed through. I sat up and rocked all night, holding close the child who was coughing, I calmly put the fighting children in time out over and over again until they showed a hint of a heart that changed. A heart that maybe is also reflecting a change in her mother who did not scream back. What if I smiled politely at the doctor who had a really rough morning, overbooked with sick kids and gave some grace. What if then I went home and thanked God for an opportunity to love with God's love, to be different in this world? What if I thanked God for a chance to grow, a chance to become more Christ like? What if I did not just get by, but seized each opportunity."

    powerful words - i ask myself those what if questions all the time. last year, God took me through a season where i was totally poured out and crawling to bed - if i made it that far (sometimes sleeping on the floor) and it was hard. but it was something to know that He was the One carrying me when what He'd asked me to do was so far beyond me.

    visiting from ann's today ~ really, really appreciated your transparent, hard-truth words.

    blessings!

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    1. Thank you for stopping by and for sharing!

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